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Concentric Perfection
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Concentric Perfection |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
Nice, nice, very nice Gears crunch, screech, mesh The pure light of aura glow Pressed into concentric perfection Glow softly Against the rusty, weary rotations Slower, slower, painfully slow Grinding on, on, ever on Push out Beatific Creation Spheric Magnificence G R O A N , CREEAAAK of the ferous monstrosity As it lurch, lurch, awkwardly lurches Subterraneous and unviewed By the breathing balls Mass produced by every clunk-clunk-rotation-clunk Glamorous mediocrity Flawed orbs And masses whose radiance Cast mediocrity to shadow May behold the death mechanism But only as They are flung Back into decaying wheels Again, again, always again In an attempt to press the defects Into Concentric Perfection Nice, nice, very nice |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jannel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Sounds like "ode to an assembly line". Interesting piece. Nicely written. |
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ill_tactics Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 149 |
That was an interesting poem, I liked it. Nicely written, made me think. I could hear the clunk groan moans, everything. Hope you have more, much love, One love, PEACE |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
the idea from this was borrowed form my very very very favorite book- "cat's cradle" by kurt vonnegut. it is form the 53rd calypso of bokonon, a holy man who wrote, well, in calypsos. Oh, a sleeping drunkard Up in Central Park, And a lion-hunter In the jungle dark, And a Chinese dentist, And a British queen-- All fit together In the same machine. Nice, nice, very nice; Nice, nice, very nice; Nice, nice, very nice-- So many different people In the same device. because i got to thinking about society as this machine. and, well, here you have what came of it. thank you both for your kind comments. jannel |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
i think i caught on. society and the media feeds us what they view as perfection. and so often we, as a society, gobble it up. going to great lengths to achieve this unrealistic idea of perfection and beauty. we are breed that way from the the day we're born. anyway- interesting concept. i enjoyed it. |
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