what did i do? - pipTalk Forums

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PEACEMAKER
Junior Member

since 2000-03-11

Posts 19
Sydney N.S.W Australia

0 posted 2000-03-13 06:40 AM

I feel the rain falling down
I hear it all around
Waiting here for something
How long i do not know

Why was i picked for here
What did i do wrong
I had'nt even lived that long
WHAT DID I DO WRONG

I feel hurt deep inside
But not from being cheated
Still don't know why i was picked
Or what happened before

Today they found my body
I see it from the first time
Bruised and raped
Cut and ripped at viciously
Left to lay where i fell
clothed in only blood
Now know that place was purgatory

I pity the one who did this
I have seen what waits for them
Luckily im not going there
I have been sent somewhere else

PEACEMAKER
Junior Member

since 2000-03-11

Posts 19
Sydney N.S.W Australia

1 posted 2000-03-13 09:10 AM

could some1 plz give me some feedback
tell me if u liked it or if u think its crap
thats y i posted them , so i know what im doing right/wrong
thanks PEACEMAKER

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-03-13 03:18 PM

trust me...this is not "crap"...this is emotionally excellent and very well expressed.
your talent shows in this piece, the imagery and pain are vivid.
be patient...sometimes this forum gets slow, and it takes awhile for people to reply... also repling to other peoples work will get your name known...
take care, jm

Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be
jackson browne

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

3 posted 2000-03-13 04:56 PM

Very well done peacemaker...this poem speaks to me...and is so very clear in it's explanation of the frustration and the pain.
           Yours truly,
              Angel


"The dark weight of the hour
humming madly
filling my head
with blood
and sorrow
and dread
the executioner's song."
-Jewel
"The Dark Bells"

~*Angel of Darkness*~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2000-03-13 10:03 PM

Peacemaker~ Na, this is definately not crap. I really liked it a lot! Kinda creepy, but hey~ that's why we're in Dark Passions! -SEA

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