Dark Poetry #1 |
what did i do? |
PEACEMAKER Junior Member
since 2000-03-11
Posts 19Sydney N.S.W Australia |
I feel the rain falling down I hear it all around Waiting here for something How long i do not know Why was i picked for here What did i do wrong I had'nt even lived that long WHAT DID I DO WRONG I feel hurt deep inside But not from being cheated Still don't know why i was picked Or what happened before Today they found my body I see it from the first time Bruised and raped Cut and ripped at viciously Left to lay where i fell clothed in only blood Now know that place was purgatory I pity the one who did this I have seen what waits for them Luckily im not going there I have been sent somewhere else |
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PEACEMAKER Junior Member
since 2000-03-11
Posts 19Sydney N.S.W Australia |
could some1 plz give me some feedback tell me if u liked it or if u think its crap thats y i posted them , so i know what im doing right/wrong thanks PEACEMAKER |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
trust me...this is not "crap"...this is emotionally excellent and very well expressed. your talent shows in this piece, the imagery and pain are vivid. be patient...sometimes this forum gets slow, and it takes awhile for people to reply... also repling to other peoples work will get your name known... take care, jm Now for me some words come easy But I know that they don't mean that much Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch You never knew what I loved in you I don't know what you loved in me Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be jackson browne |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Very well done peacemaker...this poem speaks to me...and is so very clear in it's explanation of the frustration and the pain. Yours truly, Angel "The dark weight of the hour humming madly filling my head with blood and sorrow and dread the executioner's song." -Jewel "The Dark Bells" ~*Angel of Darkness*~ |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Peacemaker~ Na, this is definately not crap. I really liked it a lot! Kinda creepy, but hey~ that's why we're in Dark Passions! -SEA |
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