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Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

0 posted 2000-03-04 12:42 PM

Elegant Distortion

The mirror cracked
Silver shards
covering the floor
in a sparkling carpet
of broken glass
Each piece reflecting
warped images
of a shattered life
Her eyes
Swollen and red
from too many
sleepless nights
Blink in pain
as a thousand flashes
of searing light
jolt through her brain
Each carrying a part
of the image in the mirror
Slowly reassembling
in her mind
Forming a portrait
she does not want to see

© 2/2/00
by Gary Pence aka Jonas

danni
Senior Member

since 1999-11-20

Posts 688
wisconsin

1 posted 2000-03-04 01:15 AM

first off welcome! a wonderful first piece. great flow and i easily related to it. looking forward to more of your work.

Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

2 posted 2000-03-04 01:50 AM

Thank you danni, for the warm welcome and your kind words. I am enjoying my time here and I look forward to getting to know all of you.

Simple words from a simple guy

Scott
New Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 2

3 posted 2000-03-04 07:41 AM

Beautiful, sooooooo passinate....I could visualize everything as I read the words.

sonjes
Senior Member

since 2000-02-18

Posts 564
North Carolina

4 posted 2000-03-04 07:52 AM

Welcome, Jonas! First of all, I really liked your poem, I thought it was illustrated very well. I could feel the pain all too well. Can't wait to read more.
Hope you have a long and healthy stay here.

-Sonje

Chinese fortune cookie say:
There are many unexpected & thrilling surprises in store for you.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2000-03-04 08:08 AM

This is an excellent poem! I love your imagery...very good. Please check your email! Welcome to the Passions family!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

6 posted 2000-03-04 10:03 AM

Gary...welcome aboard

What a great piece to choose as your fist post. The imagery you've used here is very vivid. The message is hauntingly sad. The flow smooth. Overall a great package deal

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-03-04 12:33 PM

hi, add my welcome to the list...
you make a perfect first impression with this poem, dark and beautiful, the imagery is sharp and well written, the use of the shattered mirror was perfect. look forward to more of your work. jm

...every moment of every day...
your still with me in every way.
every poem and song...
every rhyme and verse...
your still here...like a beautiful curse.
janet marie

Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

8 posted 2000-03-04 01:48 PM

Thank you very much everyone.....I am glad you enjoyed the read. And thank you for the very warm welcome you have given me!

Simple words from a simple guy

Jannel
Member

since 2000-01-18

Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA

9 posted 2000-03-04 04:09 PM

beautiful. the imagery was very intense. welcome, welcome.
jannel

"I'm just saying
that we've mistaken one
for thousands of words,
and for that mistake
I've caused you such pain
that I damn that word."
-10000 Maniacs "Jezebel"

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