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devinmaria
Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 130
Middletown, Ohio

0 posted 2000-03-03 10:59 AM

Petal after petal,
trickle to the ground.
Gently, gently falling,
making absent sound.

Teardrop after teardrop,
trickle down my cheek.
Gently, gently sliding,
as pain comes to its peak.

Thought after thought,
slither from my mind.
Chills slowly creeping,
up and down my spine.

Passionate is the flower,
painful is the scorn,
trapped by your beauty,
pricked by your thorn.

wasn't sure where to post, kinda dark, kinda not. but i like you guys so i posted here.

Trust I seek and I find in you. Everyday for us something new. Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters. --Metallica

Walter Poe
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 787

1 posted 2000-03-03 11:05 AM

Amazing force in your words showing great emotions. Much appreciation for posting here i enjoyed it much.

Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace,
of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd

Danny Holloway
Member Elite

since 2000-01-15

Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK

2 posted 2000-03-03 12:17 PM

This is a very nice poem. Nice use of rhyme.
The last four lines are really good.

Hardrock
Senior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA

3 posted 2000-03-03 12:56 PM

I like it, I like it, I like it.....wish it was mine. So good!!! Thanks for sharing.

Hardrock
Senior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA

4 posted 2000-03-03 12:57 PM

.....and I love the title, too. Thanks again.

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

5 posted 2000-03-03 06:16 PM

Awesome work, devinmaria! The repeating lines sure do the trick in this poem.

Joy

devinmaria
Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 130
Middletown, Ohio

6 posted 2000-03-03 10:32 PM

thank you all so much for the great replys. this is one of my favorite that i hafve ever written and i am glad you enjoyed it as well.

aimee

Trust I seek and I find in you. Everyday for us something new. Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters. --Metallica

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