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blueyz75
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 138
IL

0 posted 2000-02-29 07:06 PM


Guys this is kinda intense and long hope you enjoy it.  I once had it in two parts but when I had to re-enter it, I put it all together.

HER


She gave herself away.
She sold her soul.
But for what?
Was it for love or sex?
Looking back sex was the act.
The deed done in the dark.
No one was to know.
It would be their little secret he said.
Only to them would it be known.
But their secret wasn t theirs long.
He became the hero, the stud.
She became the slut, the whore.
All the prayers and regrets got her nowhere.
She needed him, wanted him, craved him.
But for what?
Did she need the sex or the love?
She needed the love, needed to be near him.
Just so she could connect to him.
All she got was his body.
All the while looking into his eyes seeing him.
Wanting to get to him, touch him, but he was so far away.
She closed her eyes feeling his body, hearing his breathing.
She wished she could say no.
She wanted to say no.
He made her feel like the slut they said she was.
Then one night it happened again.
He was there again wanting her body but not needing her.
Her eyes were closed as he was above her.
She was thinking of ways to end it all once and for all.
Then it was over.
He was done.
He got what he wanted and left.
He took more then he should of
He took her heart, her soul, her love, and her trust.
She had nothing.
She had no one.
She couldn't tell, it was their little dirty secret.
So she took it to her grave.
That night when he was done that was it,
She said no more.
She took off her clothes slowly before the mirror.
She saw the fat, the scars, the sores.
No one would miss that ****ty old body.
So she did it.
She filled the tub with scalding water.
She fixed the plug to leak slowly.
She found the sharpest razor.
Then and only then was she ready.
Oh wait, she had forgotten one thing.
The note the precious ****ing note.
No need for anyone else to suffer.
To cry over her useless death.
Her unexplained death.
So she wrote it.
One word, three letters.
"him"
Signed in her own blood the note fell upon the water.
Then it was over,
once and for all.

HIM


Her closed lips, her sealed eyes.
His secret was safe forever.
No one would know what he did to her.
That night would be as if it never existed.
He breathed a sigh  of relief as the casket was sealed.
The weight lifted off his chest as it was lowered into the vault.
He began to walk away to feel the freedom,
but he heard the word.
Those three little letters.

What did she mean?
What was she saying?
God why couldn't he shut her out?
She was trapped in the ground dead and lifeless.
He was standing there alive and well.
But at what cost?
It seemed at the cost of her life.
Yet he had to get over it.
He didn t love her.
He was using her.
Then why did it hurt him so?
Maybe just maybe he did love her.
Why couldn t he feel it when he was with her?
Why did he have to feel empty now when there was nothing he could do.
Her scent and her smell was still on his mind as he remembered.
Was there someone else s scent on her?
Could she smell the others he had been with on him?
Was that it?
Is that why?
he had to get out of there to run away.
He drove for hours before he could stop.
He stopped somewhere he shouldn't of
He saw the anguish on her mom's face.
He saw the lose.
His feeling could never match the intensity of hers.
He was alone.
No one would understand.
Understand how he could love someone he treated as his own personal whore.
That night he couldn t sleep.
She was before his eyes.
Crying for him, reaching for him, wanting his touch again.
Was it real or was it his imagination?
His mind and heart were playing tricks on him.
He had to get it to quit.
To get her arms away, her tears to stop.
He reached for the key hidden in its secret spot.
He put the key in its hole and slowly unlocked the box.
He pulled out the steal gun and cocked the hammer.
He just sat there with the gun as her vision danced before him.
Then he got the pen and paper.
He wrote his one word, his three letters.
"HER".
Signed in his own blood it fell to the floor,
and it was over,
once and for all.


By Kelly Maria Kosa
August 9, 1995


 I love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind.---Andrea Newman


© Copyright 2000 Kelly M. Kosa - All Rights Reserved
BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
1 posted 2000-02-29 07:43 PM


WOW - What a powerful piece of poetry you have written....So full of so many emotions, and ultimately, very, very sad...a very telling story of how much harm can be done when we aren't honest with each other's feelings.  Thanks for sharing this
blueyz75
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 138
IL
2 posted 2000-02-29 07:47 PM


Thank you.  It came from somewhere in this mind of mine and before I knew it, I had written something that described a situation I knew of perfectly.  Almost Romeo and Juliet like but in the end, their love destroys each other.

Kelly


 I love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind.---Andrea Newman


Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
3 posted 2000-02-29 10:30 PM


~wow! this had me hooked from beginning to end. i loved it! it was very sad...and made me think A LOT. Thank you for sharing something so personal with all of us...means a lot, at least to me.

amy  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

devinmaria
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 130
Middletown, Ohio
4 posted 2000-02-29 11:12 PM


this piece was amazing...it gave me chills...made me really think...i had to read it twice.  thank you so much for writing this and then sharing it with all of us.  it touched me deep.  thanks again!!

aimee  


 Trust I seek and I find in you. Everyday for us something new. Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters. --Metallica

Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
5 posted 2000-03-01 12:29 PM


wow. what an incredible story. there was so much truth in this. how many people i see every day that actually treat people in this way. i know of one, way too personally. this really touched a note with in me.
jannel


 "I'm just saying
that we've mistaken one
for thousands of words,
and for that mistake
I've caused you such pain
that I damn that word."
-10000 Maniacs "Jezebel"



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2000-03-01 08:08 AM


You really shared this story well.  Excellent writing.   James
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
7 posted 2000-03-01 12:08 PM


Wow!  What a piece.  This was a very strong work all the way through.  Loved it.

Michael

blueyz75
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 138
IL
8 posted 2000-03-01 06:02 PM


Taking a bow, thanks guys!     huge grin.  I knew someone who was very much like that guy.  In fact he's the very one I wrote about.  Luckily SHE got out before things could get to that point.  But sometimes, people don't realize what they've done to another until it is to late.

kelly


 I love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind.---Andrea Newman


Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
9 posted 2000-03-01 06:17 PM


I liked this but the suicide is a bit graphic.  We closed another piece yesterday and the closee alerted me to this one.  So in all fairness I must close this too.
If you need or want to talk about it please email me.
Thanks

 May the world hug you today,
With it's warmth and love.
I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart,
That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world,
Wishing you well and
wishing you love......
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



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