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Barefoot and Dancing (II)
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Barefoot and Dancing (II) |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
This uses at least one of the same lines, but is a completely different approach to the theme. Barefoot and dancing (II) Arms- outstretched- welcome Sunshine Toes make love to the ground Twirl Glide Sway Spin To notes and rhythms Delighted muses play in her head Feet flitter among buttercups Until girl and flower are indiscernible separately Barefoot and dancing What a way to live Or to love Feel the earth kiss your heels And the grass whisper to your toes And give into pure feeling Careful doesn't count When you're melting into buttercups "I'm just saying that we've mistaken one for thousands of words, and for that mistake I've caused you such pain that I damn that word." -10000 Maniacs "Jezebel" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jannel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
Very different kind of poem I am more used to the darker poems but well done walter Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
i liked both approaches just about the same. sometimes i do think we are too careful in life. usually with the wrong things. well done. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Jannel, these are both very good...I think this one is my pick of the two...which one was yours? I do this too, sometimes...I'll write one poem and it spawns off another. great job... She says baby, It's 3am I must be lonely, When she says baby, Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes, Says the rains gonna wash away I believe it. Matchbox20 I love you baby... always.* |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Have you ever walked barefoot in the rain? Maybe you should. .. I know that I'm going outside right now! Again, wonderful.. . I like them both!! --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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