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Dark Poetry #1

One More Yes?

Buzzygirl
Junior Member

since 1999-09-11

Posts 42
St. Paul, MN USA

0 posted 1999-09-20 07:11 PM

ONE MORE YES???

Its breath running down
the back of my neck
anxiety starts to set in
looping its spiral coils ‘round me
its fingers scratching beneath
my skin
Strange; adrenaline’s not my
master,
but it always seems to know
where I’ve been...

So you and your charms
have won out again-
how many times have I
let them?

I know you’ve tried, but
you’re weaker than I,
you know you always
have been

By the time you had said
you’d no feelings for me
my patience had worn very
thin-

When they came to you
gently rapping on your door
you refused
to let them in;

Then they broadsided you
like a runaway truck
and sent you into a spin
from which you’ve yet
to recover-
I ask you- how long
has it been?

...Didn’t you say
you weren’t going to let me
get away that easy?

Well- nothing about this has been
easy, my dear-

It’s an awfully weak claim
you’ve attempted to stake
on the stuff made out of
my fear;

And when I called you on it
you put on your two faces:
the ones of penance and
sorrow,

You knew I could say
just one word
and you’d be history
tomorrow-

So why couldn’t I
just let well enough be? After all,
what are you to me?

Yet...

...The relentless persistence of your memory
daunts me;
Why must I let you continue
to haunt me?

You like to play tough
yet I know you well enough
to know it’s your most frequent
façade;

You cross your arms and
turn your head away, yet
don’t you find it the least bit odd
that I’ve been the one
to walk away
and you’re the one
that comes crawling back?

You can’t even follow your own
play-act...
...because you know
that it’s nothing more than that-

And yet it’s me that lies here
shaking
and angry
that you’re taking
my last bit of self control-
I’m chasing feelings for their moment,
putting off solidity of stable ground
for the flight of the “now”...

...surprised I’m often meeting myself
coming and going, this is a person
I no longer know
or respect

You’ve made me set aside
my morals; I see
nothing to fall back on-
where have you gotten me?

I’m chasing after your seductive lies
While all the time I’ve known
I’m fighting a losing battle
all by myself-- alone....

...If I were lying here
bleeding,
would you let me be?
Would you think, “a hopeless cause,
with or without
me”?

Would you retreat
into yourself,
while you know
that I lay there, hurt,
remembering the seed that you had planted,
that I had plucked
from the dirt?

What had so shaken my person
you weren’t there to see
because you were turned away, unknowing
of the damage it did to me

Just cover your face; run
and hide
Perhaps you are
just empty inside...

...You balk at that accusation-?
then can you prove to me
that you feel what I do, at least
emotionally?

You don’t care that I always have to pay
for what you feel you can’t
afford today-
your share, always nothing;
am I hoping, do I dare,
for something to magically appear
that’ll probably never be there?

It’s always been, I must
defer to you-
why is it never
you to me?
Am I that much of a fool?
I make all the sacrifices; while you
make all of the rules?

..You’re aware that I carried
what might be
of the bond between
you and me?

I know there’s feeling
in you yet
perhaps even empathy, maybe
regret-
But at what’s been done, I see
no hint
of admission, much less
sympathy

You know I’m going to wear you down;
I’ve seen it and I’ve been there before
I recall the last time you shut the door
on the feelings that you swore up and down
weren’t there-yet their
persistence has been your
downfall,
the breaker of your
false front-

Just give in, you can no longer deny
this thing you’ve been trying so hard
to hide

There’s no glory in suffering
pain like this,
forget your suffering,
forget the past,
give in with your kiss

9/96

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 727
Wisconsin

1 posted 1999-09-24 08:16 PM

If I was that man, which I never could be
Id run to you so fast, and set your love free

your something special, dont ever let anybody walk on you. Wait, listen, watch, dont rush... Someone will find you

Beautiful expression of feelings.

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