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Jawbreaker
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Jawbreaker |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Peppermint blend... of an ice and sugar boy. Redeem me with your candied ways. A sweet talk... with a mouthful of sanguine laughter. Striped like a broken down cane. Now i'm stuck... in your malignant syrup. Jawbreaker... Jawbreaker... Jawbreaker... Save you... at the compromise of myself. A poppy dreamer, misguided by an unknown seed. A creamy callous look, burned into my salty sullen haze. Illusions made by contusions, are sent to the land of oz...my mexico. Jawbreaker... Jawbreaker... Jawbreaker... Whose coating will be cracked, sucked to nothingness, their soul dissolved, their batter bodied into a candy hell. Jawbreaker...will it be you? Jawbreaker...will it be me? Jawbreaker...my ice and sugar boy. Carman [This message has been edited by armanca (edited 01-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Carman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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OBLIVION Junior Member
since 1999-10-04
Posts 21 |
What an excellent thing to make comparison with. A new one on me for sure. I enjoyed this very much. Especially the ending. |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Thank you Oblivion! *smile* I appreciate you for taking the time to comment.  Carman |
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Osiris Junior Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 20 |
some poppy dreamers eventually break free how much time will be lost is unknown |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
Great comparison, Carman. And I loved the use of the word "sanguine." Very nice. jannel |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
carman: *Waa haa haa haa* i love it!!! it reminds me of the lyrics to some psychedelic song, but at the same time it has a much more realistic meaning... i love the line "their batter bodied"... i dont know if you meant to twist the phrase "their body battered", but i still love it... i always enjoy your work... sincerely, jerome the boy with no kool-aid A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Thank you Osiris, Jannel, and of course Poetry_Kills (jerome). Thanks for the reply's and the comments. They are much appreciated. And Jerome...Yes I meant to switch around that line about the "batter bodied"..it kind of went with my whole "candy" scene. *smile* I enjoy your work too...thanks for always replying. Carman |
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