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Dark Poetry #1
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I am covered by lies
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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I am covered by lies |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
I am alone Covered by lies Burrying me alive I am alone There is no one there To see my emotions I keep locked inside A flood is building From the tears I don't cry I am alone Covered by lies. Told by me Believed by me Lies that depict who I be Covered by lies So I am no longer me |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristen Joy Jacobus - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
It's sad, but too common when we lie to others and start belieing these ourselves. And you're right, this does change who we are. I really liked the way you conveyed this truth. Jannel |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
It's sad, but too common when we lie to others and start belieing these ourselves. And you're right, this does change who we are. I really liked the way you conveyed this truth. Jannel |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
joy: beautiful... i love the repeated lines "I am alone/ Covered by lies" and the rest of it is wonderful, but i cant help but wish the poem ended with the line "So I am no longer I" instead of "So I am no longer me"... i know it breaks your rhyme scheme, but it also fits with "lies" and i think it sounds better... give it some thought... sincerely, jerome the boy with no corndog A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Joy, I love this poem, I related to it so much, sometimes we do keep so much inside that we lose ourselves...but our poetry gives us a way to release us from the loss. thank you for sharing this.Janet Marie |
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G. A. Webb Member
since 2000-01-21
Posts 441Stanton, California, USA |
I like this and can also relate. At one point in my life I came to find that my whole world was a lie and it came crashing down around me. So from then to this day I'm honest (brutally at times) not only with others but most improtantly with myself. Thank you for sharing this piece. Good job. G |
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summer Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 80long beach .ca.usa |
i saw you crying this poem.... your emotion and anger was felt here.. good job... |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Thank you all. I was feeling pretty low when I wrote this, but it was exactly how I felt. Like I was feeding lies to others so they wouldn't find out about the real me, and then I started to believe. Soon I forgot the real me, and started living the fake me, the lie. Well, now I'm trying to change that! I'm myself, and that's got to be good enough!  Devotion The heart can think of no devotion Greater than being shore to the ocean- Holding the curve of one position, Counting an endless repetiton. -Robert Frost |
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Osiris Junior Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 20 |
yourself is good enough for me i like what i read |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
I felt your pain too Joy. But KNOW you aren't alone you have your friends here in Passions!! I consider myself a friend for a start. You can email any of us any time hon. (HUGS) Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Isis, I know and am grateful. I AM among friends here, and that makes me very glad! Devotion The heart can think of no devotion Greater than being shore to the ocean- Holding the curve of one position, Counting an endless repetiton. -Robert Frost |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Good to see another familiar face here Hugs, for feeling so low. Hugs for making a new start and Hugs for a great poem.  |
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