»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #1
»
genesis
| Dark Poetry #1 |
|
genesis |
|
|
poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
most of my stuff is more melancholia than "dark"... do they accept that here?... this is my first poem to post on dark passions, so here goes... genesis Fan the ash of dying flame Kiss the salty lips of Death Hear the whirlwind call your name As you're swept into eternal rest Ride the waves of raging seas Touch an angel with your fist Bring the heavens to their knees Shake God's hand and break the wrist Grab the bones and start to run Remember where you left your heart Crush a stone beneath your thumb Make the waters stop and start Ditch the first and kill the last Dream of all that is to come Draw the water for a bath The steam will leave your conscience numb jerome the boy with no soul < !signature--> A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge [This message has been edited by poetry_kills (edited 01-26-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Jerome Solomon - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
Jerome, this reads like a dream and a nightmare. i love it when i get pictures in my mind. as i read poetry. i especially like the fact that death's lips had a taste to them.  Jannel |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
jerome, I agree with Jannel, this one does read like a dream, I really like the imagery your words draw in my mind. I'd be curious to know where your inspiration for this one came from...and your screen name too(very original) great poem. Janet Marie |
||
|
poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
jannel: thank you for your kind words... i didn't really know how people would react to this poem since it doesn't make a lot of sense up-front... janet marie: thank you, also, for your kind words... actually i dont think i had any "inspiration"... the first two lines popped into my head, then the 6th line followed... so i wrote those three down and this is what developed... this poem actually is a list of biblical allusions (in a loose manner... actually i was just looking to develop it into something more than words on paper *heh*)... i wont go into what is what unless asked to... but mabye that will clear some things up... sincerely, jerome the boy with no corndog A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
||
|
armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Poetry_Kills... I first would like to thank you for all the responses you give on my poems. *smile* I appreciate it more than words. As for your poem...It was great! And my favorite part...was the last line. (about the steam). As for it making sense...Most of the time People don't make sense. The thing I like about my own poetry..is that it can be so off the wall that most people can't even respond to it. In fact..that is my style. Just plain abstract. *smile* Anyways...I liked that in your poem. As for your reply earlier...to Janet Marie. "without a corndog". Just thought i'd say...My sister's nickname is Corndog. *smile* Carman |
||
|
Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
Jerome, i actually tend to like poetry better when you have to look for a deeper meaning than what is laid out on the surface. and i may be asking for it (hehe) but what were some of those allusions? Jannel |
||
|
poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
jannel: stanza 1: enoch (the first man taken to be with God before death), stanza 2: jacob (the man who wrestled with God), stanza 3: moses (took joseph's bones back to canaan, parted the water, et al), stanza 4: Part 1: abraham (attempt to sacrifice isaac, God's promise), stanza 4, part 2: david & bathsheba hope that clears it up... if need be, i'll go into more detail... some of these references are to fairly obscure stories... sincerely, jerome the boy with the catholic saxophone A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
||
|
Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
Thanks Jerome. What a way to put those stories into words. Oh, and I like your new "boy with" better. Jannel |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
