Dark Poetry #1 |
Fighting the Wax Within |
armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
~Fighting the Wax Within~ Conservative cloud... consumed with fancy wax dripping and drying out breaking off at every sigh Contemplating a dance The dance... versions of me merge molding and melting You rush in and without even a breath I'm falling apart again So bring the thunder disrupt me with a vengence Don't break me with nicities Calming collector... my soul is locked up tight If you get in then I won't get out Mold me a key with the wax of myself make me a copy and slide it under the door Let me have my escape ...if i start dissolving Trembling spaces filled with a latticework made of fear A fear not broken by you Slice away with your tongue scars are already there long before you...and long after Tantalizing sweetness... woven pieces of you float in me wrapped with your thread in a web of my own Melody in my mind... make dandelions back away and all the ever afters drown in a silent hymn Tune of my life Come and face me... Cast your magic in the wind and watch me work mine Swirling around .... I take what you have. And I blow dandelions in your hair Unfinished buisness... leaves me right where I began Conservative Cloud, consumed with fancy wax. Carman [This message has been edited by armanca (edited 01-20-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Carman - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
The scar section was my favorite part. I very much enjoyed reading this. The pictures in my mind weren't quite coherently fit together, but the feeling they left was darkly wonderful. Jannel |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Thank you Jannel...I appreciate you taking the time to comment on my poem. Readers don't always see what the author does. All I can say is that...i see the pictures. *smile* I hope you got something out of it too. Carman |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
i can picture it all quite well. though they may not be the same as yours, they are of my own experiences. that is the beauty of poetry. different for every reader. very good work here. i enjoyed it much. |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Danni... Thank you! *smile* I know exactly what you mean. Poems often become everyone elses poems. *smile* It brings out thoughts that capture exactly what you've been trying to say or feel. Carman |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Fighting the Wax Within... great title for this piece.. I like the part about the key.. great idea there.. well done "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Thank you jo...*smile* Did you know there were many definitions for wax? Means many things...and they all fit. Made we really think of the expression "ball full of wax". Carman |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
thank you bojopy *smile* |
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