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Dark Poetry #1
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Dawning
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Dawning |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
In the dawning of the darkness Where black befalls the brightest days In shades of gray and violet hue Where voices fade and silence echoes behind indifferent walls Where thoughts will linger and tears will fall upon the mind in restless slumber Where fear and sadness anger and pain are sure to manifest becoming all that is remembered In a place where the soul seems doomed to stay until the dawning of brighter days and purer light Where brilliant shades of orange and blue befall the darkest nights O.K. Just to let you know, I'm trying to get past a bought of some major writers block. I know this is far from a masterpiece (hehe) but I think it has potential. So any ideas for some improvement are welcomed. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Danni this was superb!!!!! REALLY GREAT I MEAN IT!! No need to help you here!! I can feel this one within me. WOW if this is writers block then dam your good!!!!!!1 "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Bo-you are too much. I thank you for your wonderful comments. |
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a-alibaster Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392 |
I have to say that I agree with Bojopy... the colors dance from the page... and stand right in front of me.... wish I had writers block that was this bad...  ~There is an alter ego which dwells in every soul... a-alibaster |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
I love the colors. Even the orange at the end, which I normally see as radiating joy feels somewhat depressed. No need for improvement. This only goes to show that I am my own worst critic. |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Danni...way to go girl...so many lovely descriptions in this < !signature--> I have read it several times and love it more with each reading  Jenny Words bloom like flowers that seem astonished at being born. L. Pirandello 16th Century Dramatist [This message has been edited by JennyLee (edited 01-19-2000).] |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Thanks bunches everyone. I always seem to doubt my ability to write poems. All your wonderfull comments are what encourage me to keep writing. I can't thank you enough!  |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Danni this was a lovely portrayal of darkness and light and so many different colors flowing throughout your poem. James |
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mojar Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 169granbury, texas, usa |
danni, this is a masterpiece, your words are truely an inspiration in themselves, i have been trying to emial you without success, will you mail me at bamamickey@hotmail.com i would like to talk to you. thanks mo. |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
James, thank you very much! Mo- my thanks to you also. And to let you know, I have emailed you. Hope you can get it to work! |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Dancing feelings and imagery, writer's block? Pashaw!!  This is wonderful don't doubt it for a minute!! Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
LOL! Isis, you crack me up. I needed the laugh. Thank you for that and the wonderful comment. |
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