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Dark Poetry #1
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The Gem
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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The Gem |
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dreemr Junior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 34Covington, LA, USA |
I held upon my outstretched palm, A gem so fair and bright. I stood in awe as I beheld The beauty of this sight. So filled with joy was I inside, I uttered not a sound. I simply stared in wonder, At the treasure I had found. It sparkled in the midday sun, Each facet like an eye, Gazing back into my own, And up towards the sky. I pondered it for quite some time, And saw much more than stone. I saw a precious peice of Earth, And claimed it for my own. I thought of how such skillful hands, Had fashioned it so fine, Such a rare and splendid thing, And now it was all mine. Then all at once to my despair, The gem that I'd just found, Turned to sand and sifted, Through my fingers to the ground. Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Beauty and happiness are indeed fleeting!! Well done with the analgies  Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Fleeting indeed, but like gems, there are more to be found. I liked this very much. |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
The tone in this was so happy and then booom gone with a few short words. I like that way of writing. How you kinda have to think about what was just said and make conclusions of your own. At least that is how I took it. When you said 'All at once to my despair The gem I just found Turned to sand and sifted Through my fingers to the ground' I instantly thought of how precious that sand was---but then I thought how precious it really IS!!! I dont think it was supposed to come off that way but that is what I thought!! "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow - this is very powerful...and I can read very deeply into the thoughts you've laid out here. Wonderful poem, love the ending. Michael |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Very well done...especially the ending. As Bojopy had said..I liked the way you had a happy tone and then with just a few words it changed. Great job dreemr! "They can take away my belongings. They can beat me. They can torchure me and they can kill me. Then they will have my dead body. But they will not have my obedience." -Gandhi ~*Angel of Darkness*~ |
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