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Dark Poetry #1
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dying out loud
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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dying out loud |
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dreemr Junior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 34Covington, LA, USA |
Living a lie, I let the truth slip away, So many years ago, Diverted by fear, I chose the clearer path. Am I happy now? I have to be, I have no other choice. I look around at what I’ve done, I see who I’ve become, Am I ok? he is...I’M not. Could it be different? Would I be more complete? Does it make a sound? I long to be in the forest to find out. But I am stuck here. Unfair to those I’ve dragged along, I know, They’ve done so much for me. But I mustn’t let them know. They wouldn’t understand. So here I sit in prison Living silently...dying out loud. I wrote this just now....inspired by a poem I read here. I wonder sometimes if I only have myself brainwashed that I'm OK. By many's standards I have wonderful situation, someone who loves me. But what did I miss? Why do I not "feel" wonderful? well...he does...I don't. *sigh* ces la vie |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Off the top of your head!! Not to bad I must say. I like this poem or thought so to speak. I can relate to it I think. I have been in relationships where I felt not complete not that we were not in love but somthing was not complete. I came to realize that it was not them it was me. Anyway I think you may have found a place that could help you with what you wrote!! And again welcome!!! "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
My advice? Diverted by fear, hon I am a nervous person at times, I fear offending people, worry I hurt feelings, should I have said that? etc. Years have taught me be loving, loyal and true, don't hide your feelings, true friends or lovers or kindred will find you, and then you will truly rejoice. I found all this here in Passions and I'm thankful for it everyday. The other place I found it is in my music, it brightens my life so. Search and you will find.. Hey I hope I didn't come across as lecturing, but your poem cried out for some positivity???? Hope you understand?...... Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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dreemr Junior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 34Covington, LA, USA |
Isis...I understand and appreciate what you said. And after reading what people like ChainedAngel have gone through, it makes me feel rather selfish for anguishing so much over my petty dissatisfactions. But there was much more to what went into some of the decisions I've made due to fear of how they might affect others and how much initial turmoil they might cause in my own life had I made them differently. It's hard to explain. It might become clearer as I share more. Again thanks for the kind welcome. |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
I loved this poem. I understand the feelings well, having been there myself just over a year ago. It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. --W.E. Henley |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I think you've answered your own question - why don't I feel wonderful. The first line of your poem says it all, "Living a lie". also in your refrain, you state someone who loves me...but you do not state that you love him. Your prison is in your own mind, and the wardon is your fear of hurting someone who has cared for you. Unfortunately, only you have the power to free yourself or make this a lifelong sentence. Great poem, btw, speaks volumes. Michael |
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dreemr Junior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 34Covington, LA, USA |
michael...u are absolutely right...except for one thing...and i'm sorry to have been ambiguous about this...but then ambiguity is the nature of poetry right? I am a guy...and the "he" I speak is this guy I have become or who the world sees...he's not really who i am in my own eyes...and as for the sentence...yes I'm here for life, but that point is moot. I don't mean to seem to wallow in self pity for as I said before by many's standards I am blessed in many ways and really have no real desire to be "free". I only wonder, sometimes more exaggeratedly than not, in my writing what its like on the outside. My name is Kyle btw...nice to meet everyone  |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Well, your last response there certainly cleared it up. And I truly can say I know exactly how you feel. I was there myself for a long time. I still am in some ways. It has been just recently that I have been sorting through and dispensing of some of those lies I've lived. It is a wonderful release! BTW- I enjoyed the poem. |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
I loved how you paraphrased in this piece...I could tell right from the start ,that you were indeed the "he" of which you were writing about. EXCELLENT.... Jenny Words bloom like flowers that seem astonished at being born. L. Pirandello 16th Century Dramatist |
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