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| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Blind |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
I was born blind, and have never wanted to see. I have learned to calculate the brightness of black... and am now afraid of nothing but the light. The black & darkness: my heart. The light being love. Afraid to give my heart away... Afraid that once again, It will be returned in peices. Why do we ... I ... fear love? Is it just the fear of pain, or is it a fear that anyone could actually ... ... love me? Love ME. No, that's impossible isn't it? Could anyone love me for me? No. NO!! I AM right. It really IS impossible I merely say what's in my heart and you call it a style. Don't put it in a cage, don't mistreat it. You say you're hungry for knowledge... Here it is... EAT IT!! -DMX ~Lil OnE~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christine L. Kelly - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
Before anyone asks... no I'm not blind physically. I am blind in love. I was born unloved, and that's how I'll die. I'm engaged and I love my fiancee very much, and I know he love's me just as much, but you'd have to know more to understand... so if this helps you to understand the poem any better, good!! |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I feel similar to you...although you may or may not want to believe it...you can be born into a loving family and still be lonely in being. Because it's not just love that we are after...it's understanding. I wish you the best in your marriage and I hope that things change for you...although, I know, that it doesn't seem like it ever will. Maybe just because you don't know how to change...or maybe darkness has become you..or as we..meaning you and I...say that we were born like this. But you are not blind my friend, you just have to know how to look. With an open-mind and an open-heart...you have to be ready. And you will be afraid..just as I am..but what is more powerful...you or your fears. Who is in control? It is YOUR LIFE. You have to learn how to let go. It's never easy...but it's the only way you'll find your love. But you won't find it only within yourself..eventually you must venture. Or you will fall. "They can take away my belongings. They can beat me. They can torchure me and they can kill me. Then they will have my dead body. But they will not have my obedience." -Gandhi ~*Angel of Darkness*~ |
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
This is great, and i've wondered it myself, does anybody love the real capitalised ME or do they just love the lower case me. Very cool. |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
I really liked the writing scheme in the line "Why do we...I...fear love? What a great idea in that!! I enjoyed this piece. "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Gee this could turn out to be a discussion this topic!! I too feel that way. I believe I am misunderstood by my husband. He tries, I love him, he loves me, but he will never be a kindred of mine. It's sad. Family I have the most loving biological and adoptive parents, so I never lacked it either. If you wish to talk about this personally I do have a few ideas... please email me. For now I will say the poem is wonderful, many of us have felt or feel this way...BUT don't give up on the light yet or EVER  Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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dreemr Junior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 34Covington, LA, USA |
Gee there really ARE others out there God , I've found a home...finally... I too am in a "loving" relationship. And I agree with Isis in that we can be loved but not understood completely and hence feel incomplete and lacking in certain sustenance. But my "other" once told me that there are certain things we cannot do for each other and it's ok to look elsewhere for these things. (like poetry forums ) It helps alot but still we feel alone because I'm afraid as Lil One says: It really IS impossible. For how can anyone else understand us if we don't truly understand ourselves. We can only hope that through our colorful yet (and I don't mean this critically or disparagingly) feeble attempts at disclosure we offer a fleeting glimpse of who or what we really are and hope someone can see it. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I have never heard these feeling stated so well. They are definately felt by many, I can assure you that. Doubts arise from negative experiences, but I do believe everyone can love and can be loved if they will allow it. I, too, bite at the hand of love when it reaches to me, or at least have most of my life. But it goes back to fear - not of love - but of love being lost. Great poem. Michael |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
I am dumbfounded. I had no clue that so many people felt the same way ... I guess you just have to go to the right places! Thank you all for your replies... they mean more than words can say. Isis... I will be sure to e-mail you Thanks again, everyone!! I merely say what's in my heart and you call it a style. Don't put it in a cage, don't mistreat it. You say you're hungry for knowledge... Here it is... EAT IT!! -DMX ~Lil OnE~ |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
It's not neccessarily the love that we fear...it's the fact that we are taking a huge risk. The risk of getting hurt or having our trust betrayed. It's especially hard for people who don't trust people anyway...because they have to break the habits that they have formed over a course of time spent alone. I know that the discussion was pretty much over but I thought that I should contribute that...even though it's quite obvious. I don't know..it's just that sometimes you need to see or hear things for them to seem real within you. Maybe more than once. < !signature--> "They can take away my belongings. They can beat me. They can torchure me and they can kill me. Then they will have my dead body. But they will not have my obedience." -Gandhi ~*Angel of Darkness*~ [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 01-11-2000).] |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
it's a risk to speak my feelings, what if he laughs. it's a risk to deal with conflict, what if he yells at me it's a risk to express my frustrations, what if i start to cry it's a risk to voice my pain what if... once i find the words ... they go unheeded it's a risk to live out my love what if love isn't returned? it's a risk to embrace what if the embrace isn't welcome, or even worse returned lukewarm it's a risk to show my vulnerability what if i appear weak it's a risk to cry out what if nobody responds i wrote this awhile ago, but it fits here quite nicely. although, i know here, people will respond when i cry out, because it's likely that they're crying out too!! I merely say what's in my heart and you call it a style. Don't put it in a cage, don't mistreat it. You say you're hungry for knowledge... Here it is... EAT IT!! -DMX ~Lil OnE~ |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
Did anyone read the last reply I put on this? Please do... |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hey lil one I have wondered a thousand times if anyone will ever truly love me and I have feared a million times that if i revealed myself to those I care for they would laugh at me or reject me. All my doubts and fears would not allow me to be friends with my first wife and I lost her because she found the friendship she so earnestly desired with others. Now I am totally different. I am open and honest with women I meet..sometimes revealing too much and not waiting for the right opportunities..not waiting for their feelings and desires to build. I believe I have gone to the opposite extreme and I hope that I will find the right balance. And some of the things I feared were true. Some people do not like me but their will be one who accepts me as I am and who finds enjoyment in my company. I know it. James |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
This is very nice and your second poem you would here was just as nice or even better. Life, love, and friendship are all risk worth taking. Of course there will be hurts along the way, but so too will there be joys we never would have known if we hadn't taken the risk. To love is life, and to risk is pain, but for flowers to grow they need the rain and the sunshine both. Enjoyed your poetry. |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
jmlee 12345... I firmly believe you will find that person... best of luck. I can honestly say that I know how you feel... I often wonder if my fiancee knows me. I mean, I know he knows me, but does he REALLY? Septsong... thank you VERY much!!! I really love it when people are actually supportive of me, you just don't know. Thanks! You don't know me, but you don't like me. You say you could care less how I feel. But how many of you who sit and judge me have ever walked the streets in my shoes?-Korn ~Lil OnE~ |
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~Venus~ Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 128 |
"She's Love, she loves, and yet she is not lov'd." Shakespeare says it best, huh? For a while, I felt as if there wasn't a person in the world who could possibly understand what I was feeling. But I have met that person, and he loves and understands me. By the way, great poems! ~goddess of love, passion, and desire~ |
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