Dark Poetry #1 |
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The Mind Will Fugue... |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Unrevealed in treachory Forlorned in memory Alaned with pain and unscathed Downwind to a nightmaric cave Looking beyond the past and it's future Looking further, further, and furhter Within a dour drive gone away Nothing in goal, nothing to save Unblemished but blind to outer things Nothingness has come, what will it bring Closed in a tenebrous wincing room Leaving nothing behind to consume Bothered by breath as it dismays In folded knee in hopeful prays Not sure of those arcaned heavens But by birth of baby until one seven there was truth to the book of old But expansion of thought brought whats untold Now in a age of a chagrining twenty-five Somthing inside now does not feel alive So construed in knowing why.....Why Where does death go when one dies Aware of a foredoomed demise But unwilling to let it suprise Ran so far from responsibility remorse that creation has faded beyond my course Letting a lying umbrella cache the delay Writting words hopefully found one day Until they're gripped they will stay unknown As the mind fuges....and the body roams home< !signature--> [This message has been edited by Bojopy (edited 01-05-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Bojopy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
It's strange how sadness can appear so beautifully...yet you do it very well. This poem seems to defy the boundaries of emotion...but feel not alone my friend... others aswell as myself share your feelings. |
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Thaddeus Member
since 1999-11-16
Posts 78MA |
"The Mind Will Fugue.." is a captivating phrase and piece of wordsmithing. Your words sink in slowly with a pervasive sadness. |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Very thought provoking. I took it as questioning death. It is inevitable and mysterious, and frightening. What is beyond death? Never to know until we get there. If I'm completely wrong, forgive me. Anyway, well done. |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
I don't like to say somtimes what my thoughts are on a poem to see what people have to say about it first. This one though is just a quest for responses! |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
And responses ye shall get ![]() I enjoyed this immensely. Stanza three is my favorite. The entire piece is worth reading many times!! Well Done. Jenny Lee Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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FreeByrd Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267 |
I Screwed up. Submitted my reply twice. [This message has been edited by FreeByrd (edited 01-06-2000).] |
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FreeByrd Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267 |
Bo, Sounds like there was a death in the family when you were very young. Definitely scarred by the experience. You left home eventually, no goals aspirations in mind. Sort of a who cares anyway mentality at the time. There is the conscious reality of the illness being congenital. Writing some words you hope will be found when your gone. Finished, you begin a journey back home. Not quite sure if the death has been resolved in your mind and your able to deal with it now. That’s my take. Let me know if I’m anywhere near the ballpark. A well written piece. I also like the idea of getting the readers interpretation of my work. It’s an important part of the writing/growth process. There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief - Hendrix |
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Shirleeah Storey Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 68Delaware |
I liked our poem. It actually reminded me of a time, when I was younger, when a family member died and I had alot of questions. Where does the person go? What happens to their body? What's a soul and where does that go? And even though answers were given, I still feared death later on. I no longer fear death but I am concerned about my soul! Beautifully written. Keep up the good work! |
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