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jaxjoy
Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112
Texas

0 posted 1999-12-27 08:25 PM



Sometimes
The swirl of a brush stroke
can appear to be that of a rose
And YOU
whose petals
I can never touch
whose fragrance
I can never intoxicate myself with
Were my rose
The rose whose thorn
stays embedded in my heart
A constant reminder
of this pain and passion
My blood
as red as YOU
My Rose



© Copyright 1999 Jacqueline Vachier - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
1 posted 1999-12-27 08:33 PM


Very sad, Jax, but well written.

Elizabeth

 "Boys and girls together, me and Mamie O'Rourke
Tripped the light fantastic on the sidewalks of New York."



Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
2 posted 1999-12-27 08:45 PM


Well written indeed  

 At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. (Plato)
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)


Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
3 posted 1999-12-27 09:42 PM




  Excellent poem!  Your poem flows so well and I can feel your pain come alive in the words so well, because you wrote this poem to perfection.  Very sad, but, so very effective.  

Although I love the entire poem, my favourite lines are:

"whose fragrance I can never intoxicate myself with"

"a constant reminder of this pain and passion, my blood as red as you, my rose."

I am just speechless right now, I want to write so much more about your poem, but, I am at a loss for words, except for your poem is a sad delight to read.  Keep up the creative work!!

          * Melissa Honeybee *

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
4 posted 1999-12-27 10:42 PM


I agree 100% with Melissa..wow, this is wonderfully painful and well written.  I too am at a great loss for words at this stunning piece.

 *Krista Knutson*

~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack,
Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare,
Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water,
Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha



jaxjoy
Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112
Texas
5 posted 1999-12-28 02:54 PM


Thank you all for your response.  I appreciate any feedback.  Yes, this is a very painful piece.  A wound that still hasnt healed ...sigh..  
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
6 posted 2000-01-02 05:58 PM


"The rose whos thorn stays embedded in my heart"...great line
I can relate weel to this pain.

Michael

FreeByrd
Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267

7 posted 2000-01-03 09:44 AM


Simply Beautiful...

A wonderous expression of Passion.

Succinctly written. Bravo ! ! !

-RS



 There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief

There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief

- Hendrix



danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
8 posted 2000-01-04 12:19 PM


What can I say that hasn't been said already?
Not much i suppose. I agree this is a great piece. I think a rose is a wonderful metaphor for love. Such a beautiful thing with the potential to be painful. Nice work.

JennyLee
Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.
9 posted 2000-01-04 12:24 PM


Beautiful. I adore the use of the rose as a metaphor for love. I myself use the rose and its thorns in alot of my older work. Well Done!

Jenny Lee


 Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.


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