Dark Poetry #1 |
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Death Of A Rose |
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jaxjoy Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112Texas |
Sometimes The swirl of a brush stroke can appear to be that of a rose And YOU whose petals I can never touch whose fragrance I can never intoxicate myself with Were my rose The rose whose thorn stays embedded in my heart A constant reminder of this pain and passion My blood as red as YOU My Rose |
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© Copyright 1999 Jacqueline Vachier - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Very sad, Jax, but well written. Elizabeth "Boys and girls together, me and Mamie O'Rourke Tripped the light fantastic on the sidewalks of New York." |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Well written indeed ![]() At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. (Plato) ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Excellent poem! Your poem flows so well and I can feel your pain come alive in the words so well, because you wrote this poem to perfection. Very sad, but, so very effective. Although I love the entire poem, my favourite lines are: "whose fragrance I can never intoxicate myself with" "a constant reminder of this pain and passion, my blood as red as you, my rose." I am just speechless right now, I want to write so much more about your poem, but, I am at a loss for words, except for your poem is a sad delight to read. Keep up the creative work!! * Melissa Honeybee * |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
I agree 100% with Melissa..wow, this is wonderfully painful and well written. I too am at a great loss for words at this stunning piece. *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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jaxjoy Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112Texas |
Thank you all for your response. I appreciate any feedback. Yes, this is a very painful piece. A wound that still hasnt healed ...sigh.. ![]() |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
"The rose whos thorn stays embedded in my heart"...great line I can relate weel to this pain. Michael |
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FreeByrd Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267 |
Simply Beautiful... A wonderous expression of Passion. Succinctly written. Bravo ! ! ! -RS There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief - Hendrix |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
What can I say that hasn't been said already? Not much i suppose. I agree this is a great piece. I think a rose is a wonderful metaphor for love. Such a beautiful thing with the potential to be painful. Nice work. |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Beautiful. I adore the use of the rose as a metaphor for love. I myself use the rose and its thorns in alot of my older work. Well Done! Jenny Lee Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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