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Dark Poetry #1
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The Last Tear Falls
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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The Last Tear Falls |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
I hear his voice calling out to me So gentle, yet chilling like a whisper on the breeze He says he understands my bitterness and pain He says that he can help He can take it all away As his voice fills my head the air becomes heavy I feel his presence So strong..it suffocates me He tells me not to struggle Just let go, give in to him And I will never have to know disappointment or lonliness again I can feel his icey hands reaching deep into my soul In the strength of his grip My body turns cold And the last tear falls as I slip into the night When Death came for me I was too weak to fight Now don't worry. This isn't something that I'm feeling. It was just something that came to me and I thought it could have alot of different meanings. So, enjoy!  |
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| © Copyright 1999 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mojar Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 169granbury, texas, usa |
very powerful stuff danni, eerie in a sense but realistic as well, death overcomes us at our weakest time, sometimes. i liked this much. mo. |
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wolfie97 Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 58Newcastle, WY USA |
Very smooth read. This poem just gripped me. Sclice open inspiration, and bleed the beauty of art from within. ==Garrett-'sneaky'-Gall== |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Very good danni. . . chilling yes, I would agree. . . there are many who are like this. . . I am glad to see that you are not one of them. . . That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Your work is very good, danni. This poem had a definite chilling grip on me! JOY |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Bravo Danni, chilling indeed..  What the inner voice says will NOT disappoint the hoping soul. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Chilling and exciting read Danni.... Love reading your work Jenny Lee Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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Niemczak Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 51 |
Your poem touched close to home for me. |
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starboards Member
since 1999-10-14
Posts 467longwood, florida |
UMMM...WOW!!! This touched me very deeply...especially the last line! Wow...i'm envious "If you love something let it go...if it comes back to you it is yours...if it doesnt then it never was" |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Thank you all very much. This was a chilling thought for me to have. I'm so glad that it had such a grip on you. Your wonderful comments have put a big 'ol smile on my face thanx again! |
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lostboy Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 275New Hampshire, USA |
Always enjoy reading your work danni, no different this time. Very gripping imagery in this work. WELL DONE! |
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JD Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 61N Prov |
 Kind of sad but still good work keep it up
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~darkangel~ New Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 8 |
That is how I felt when I lost my dad... Keep up the good work... |
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~darkangel~ New Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 8 |
That is how I felt when I lost my dad... Keep up the good work... |
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FreeByrd Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267 |
Scary stuff... Well written. It grabs big time and doesn't let go easily. -RS There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief - Hendrix |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
I hope nobody minds, I felt like drudging up some older stuff of mine seen as how I haven't had much new stuff to add lately. I figured some of the newer additions to the dark family might like to have a look. And my thanks to those who commented and I didn't get a chance to thank you sooner! |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
I cant believe I missed this danni.. I have been reading everything you write and always have comments upon them..this is no different I can relate and see within this piece for what it may mean.. I think it has deeper meaning to it then just death.. Maybe not but I like to read between the lines.. Well done again danni! "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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lostboy Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 275New Hampshire, USA |
Wonderfully done danni. Your talent shines through here! |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Chilling indeed Enjoyed the poem Thanks Rich |
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~Venus~ Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 128 |
Yet another reply, huh? Bet you don't mind...great poem. Creepy, but excellent. The title caught my eye and the poem caught my soul. ~goddess of love, passion, and desire~ |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Bo- ya missed it because it was posted long before you came aboard. There's lots more were that came from if you ever feel like looking for it. I am glad that you enjoyed it. Everyone else, thank you so very much for your wonderful comments. They are always appreciated. |
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lost Junior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 16New York, NY |
great poem - I could feel the cold creeping up my spine. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"So gentle, yet chilling". This poem really touches me. Death is something each of us must eventually embrace when our time on this earth is done. James |
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Jesse Jaymz Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708Youngstown, ohio |
deaths chill is one that you can never shake. once you have felt it you can never again be warm. *looks at the scars on his arms* trust me i know. great work. very moving and errie. Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel is just a frieght train coming your way... MetallicA |
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ill_tactics Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 149 |
i liked that, it was koo, kinda reminds me of love, well, the time i fell in love, not actually love but the heartbreak that came with it. keep all the poems coming..Much love, One love, Peace |
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devinmaria Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 130Middletown, Ohio |
Wow! i once wrote something similar at a time in my life when that was all i could think about, now i've moved on but its good for the soul i think to look back and see how scarry a thought it actually is and say to yourself that you dont want to think or be that way anymore. bravo!!! Trust I seek and I find in you. Everyday for us something new. Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters. --Metallica |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
well, i thought this one would have slipped back in the pages already, as i was gone a couple of days. i thank you all for your comments. i thought this was one of my better pieces. and your comments i think have confirmed that. thanx so much again! |
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Lady Bere Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 73Valmeyer, Illinois USA |
A beautifully chilling poem. Without darkness there is no light Without the light we cannot see the dark Balance...It heals the soul -- by: LB |
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