Open Poetry #32 |
My Answer (9000th Post) |
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
**~~~~** For a moment, I thought quite possibly I had lost my sense of hearing. After just having all other senses heightened and spent. Had I heard him correctly? Wrapping a sheet around my suddenly chilled skin, I asked him to repeat his words. Combing his hair with his fingers, he spoke again. "I hope you don't think this means we are back together." Then he casually lit a cigarette by the candle which moments earlier had flicked at our shadows melding on the wall. Now it's flame shone like a beacon onto the notches in his belt that slithered through the loops on his weathered blue jeans. A flattened cobra displaying gaping holes from giving hearts taken. With one last glance at his eyes dreamy yet chillingly blue, memorizing each detail of his rugged face.. tempting mouth... I let go my gown of bed satin and with dramatic flare knocked over the melting cinnamon tower of wax, which precisely spilled it's contents onto manly feet- naked and unlike his heart- no longer cold. *~~~~* . . Chris Barker April 16, 2004 ~~~~~ |
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© Copyright 2004 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Wow... this is amazing, Chrislane. I really liked how you worked the belt description into this--the cobra image was startling, and you managed to portray the "notch" in the belt, without going for the obvious. a painful read (and memory) but you do both so artfully. Congratulations on the milestone, lady! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Well done! Took the heights of mountains, and the depths of seas to new degrees. Hugs, TD |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
*ouch* ive been in a similar situation, just wish i had some hot wax to spill!! What a way to ring in 9000!! Congratulations dear lady!!!! |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
The story has a ring of a country-western song. Very interesting read. I liked this one a lot! JL |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Congratulaions, Chris...for the candle spill and this milestone. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Love it Chris!! WHOOOHOOOO! Congratulations on your 9,000th post! ~Hugs, love and miss ya, Teed~ To have lived the dream of a love so true... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
NightShade~ Smiling at the justice in this one~ Congrats on the 'spill' and on your milestone post~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Chris, what a poem! Your use of words like slithered and cobra, etc., were really effective -- really great write and 9000, WOW! |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
wow! loss for words, this was great! |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou dearly my poet friends. Hugs! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou James! Hugs. |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Chris, I loved your imagery! CONGRADS on your NINE THOUSANDTH post. I know many of them were in response to others. Thank you for sharing your creativity and your time with us. Sade |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Terrific write! The ending way GREAT, and fitting! Once started reading couldn't stop... perfectly written. jwesley |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Sade & Jimmy - thankyou & hugs to you both. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I've been on both sides...painful either way congrats on the big 9K! |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Ouch. Painful. But this was a great read, very emotional, good imagery. Susan |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Congrats Chris, and you are definitely a girl after my own heart, or is that heartless Today I'm only moving clouds, tomorrow I'll try mountains. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Dixie, Susan & Sharon, Thankyou ladies! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Honey...is saying Congrats late, better than never? ...I wasn't home much when you wrote this, and you didn't send me a link! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
nice to read again |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Snowflake From Hell Senior Member
since 2003-07-10
Posts 777My own little Icey Oblivion |
very enjoyable Can you hear my cries, can you hear my pleads, will you watch me burn...or would you bleed for me? |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
what a great write... regards sudhir |
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