Open Poetry #32 |
A Place Called Charm City |
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
They were ugly men with vicious names With clubs and knives, whips and chains Bulging muscles but short on brains A bunch of thugs on drugs. She wallowed in the life once chose Sleazy woman in outrageous clothes From the trash and gutters she rose Just a prostitute and not cute. Just a worthless penniless family Slapped around by a poor reality Squatting on the street or in an alley The forgotten poor nothing more. He was a drunken sailor from a ship That into a forbidden barroom did slip Now with cracked head and broken lip In a warm pool of red left for dead Gloom |
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© Copyright 2004 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Had to be a sailor huh? "Slapped around by a poor reality" loved that line!! Morning! "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
I too found that line very good... slapped around by a poor reality You sure do come up with some corkers! (that's a good thing). TD |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Professor, Did your have to be so relistic? LOL |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Harsh reality....you were in a gloomy way the day you wrote this one. However, it is very well written. And now I have "What do you do with a drunken sailor" tune floating around in my head. Oh, well, sorry about the sick humor. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
ouch |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The use of "neat" rhyme packages the seriousness of the subject matter in such a way as to provoke the mind to almost a sense of parody on current hip hop trend which (I believe) glamourizes violence and consequently promotes the same. Not sure if that was what you intended, but it's what I took from your fine offering, Prof. Enjoyed this much. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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