Open Poetry #32 |
Circlescape |
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
abstraction of an afterthought in circumspect of circlescape a maze of toppled walls and rubble - shattering of glass in double mirroring through sliding doors and windows paned with memories... now buried 'neath a layering of rhythm in the quickening of metronome and moon in 'shine' in perfect measuring of time unceasing... pausing not to see the shimmer glow of innocence in childish eyes of should have been in vision of what could have been... but never came to be because... somewhere along the road to old a disillusioned heart grew cold... Peter pawned his frying Pan for bus fare out of Never Land... Dorothy's Oz was just a dream and clicking thrice won't take you home ___________________ "When the power of love overcomes the love |
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© Copyright 2004 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
What a ripple... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"Peter pawned his frying Pan for bus fare out of Never Land... Dorothy's Oz was just a dream and clicking thrice won't take you home" WOW!! And hello Vicky!! Wonderful piece and I love this closing stanza!! Hugs and love ya lady~ To have lived the dream of a love so true... |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Very nice. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
vlraynes An excellent write, enjoyed |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
ill never understand why she didnt want to stay in oz indefinitely when home seemed so confining in the bible belt......just my humble opinion nice to see your words again |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
what can I say? a great piece! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
somewhere along the road to old a disillusioned heart grew cold... you can never go back...whether it is home or elsewhere in time...maybe that is a good thing ~smiling at a good write, V M |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
You are an amazing writer! Every line in this was fabulous! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I absolutely love this Vicky. Hope all is well with you. Mxx What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
The first time I read it I loved it (and forgot to reply) and the second time I read it, I loved it (and am now replying). It just kind of works for me. There's no definite rhythm throughout the whole poem, but there are spots when it's just right on, and the contrast is just... great. I love it. And that closing stanza? Wow. That's all I can say. Please, kind Mum, teach me your craft. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
no, it sure won't |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I love it still, the second time around. Maree The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colours, but the sea, does not change. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
The good thing about a circlescape, my friend - is that it continues to go 'round and 'round... Perhaps even returning to the best of times. The trick is to recognize that glimmer and hop off the carousel to enjoy... Taking time to smell the roses, as they say... and remember to smile, Sherlock... This is an excellent write, btw.. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Peter pawned his frying Pan for bus fare out of Never Land... Dorothy's Oz was just a dream and clicking thrice won't take you home" Wow Vicky ... I think my jaw dropped at the wonderful ending lines while reading this. I loved how you wrapped this lovely piece up, with a play on childhood dreams and stories. Really well done indeed! Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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