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Open Poetry #32
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silences.
| Open Poetry #32 |
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silences. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space 
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nestled between words it's the silences, I miss most a subtle rythm within breaths that assured an understanding speech could never |
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| © Copyright 2004 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Kool write my friend...liked the flow of this jwesley |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
in mid air . . . |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
 bello. YKIKTWhat are you my god? You touch me like you are my god |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
Sometimes the most powerful of words are those shared but never need to be spoken aloud... Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
 enjoyed... |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
That's enlightenment. Perfect! Abbracci, Margherita |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
the comfort of the comfortable silence yes so good |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Once again... you capture time |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Why try, if speech could never--- Sorry, but for me it seems like you expounded on a common cliche, "it's the silences I miss." I would have liked this if you'd gone a bit further with it. At the very least, it should afford a couple more stanzas. Don't mean to come down on you by any means, my honesty signifies my respect for you & your critique message. Take care. Brian |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Aenimal - well written, I'm understanding these words, great write... BC |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I like it. All words are by necessity cliches -- else we couldn't understand them -- I don't have a problem with a cliched phrase if it's couched in something appropriate.. in the world there is after all - only carbohydrates, fat, and protein. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
It's so good to see you writing again, R. I'm emailing you a question on this piece...so watch out for it k? Hugs...this is good writing, hon.  K |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks everyone brian, why use words? Simple. While we shared an understanding in the silence, you did not. Were these words directed at her alone, i'd agree it seems hypocritical using words to convey something already understood between us. But the poem was written to a broader audience and the only way to convey private emotions is with words. Cliched? Perhaps. Short? It was long enough for me to say what had to be said  I do appreciate your take and always welcome your thoughts and critique |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
so true |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Raph, you're amazing.. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Well...Meg got that right. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I put cliche's in my poetry occasionly to capture the reader. It is ok in the right ways. My friend wrote about "oh how do I love thee" how a great poem of beauty became a cliche. The poem was a poem of cliches, but she put it together in a original way. Truthfully as long as the intent is origanal than its ok. I liked it. Juju |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
My heart is just breaking all over the place today... |
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Censored Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 86 |
enjoyed |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Like the way you leave this in the end, Aenimal! Corinne |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks for the kind replies everyone |
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