Open Poetry #32 |
Let me enlighten thee of spring |
jennirey Member
since 2002-01-24
Posts 198North Richland HillsTx |
I cry to your hearts, you poetic prophets Hear me sing of morning rain Let me tell of dew on roses Let me enlighten thee of spring It has blossomed in the morning Bluebonnets strewn across the yard Yellow Black-eyed Susans sing Their Morning glories home. The little plants that I have watered Peek their heads above the soil To take a look at the sunshine That e’er encourages them to grow. My tomato plants are almost ready To be buried in the ground Where they can grow unhurried With ripe sweet fruits abound So let me sing to you of sunshine The warmth I feel upon my arms Till the summers heat begets us And rain is few to come I am enlightened by the magic And wonders that it brings. Let us all sing of Sunshine Let us all sing of spring. Jennirey 2004 |
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© Copyright 2004 Jennifer Reynoso - All Rights Reserved | |||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh how true...Spring is very magical. I enjoyed seeing it through your eyes. Hugs~ To have lived the dream of a love so true... |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
I totally agree! |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
Ah...spring fever has struck! Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
jennirey - spring, the start of newness... BC |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I'm ever a fan of using the "thou." Properly, though--- So I'll give you a pointer. "Thou" is a singular second-person pronoun, and you say "poet-prophets" as if you're addressing a multiple. Now I like thou so I'd rather reduce the plurals into singular and keep that intimacy. I would also recommend that you remain consistent instead of going back to "you" in a later line as you do. Other than that... I adore your style... I think your skill is going places, and it's headed very much in the right direction. You're my favourite new member that I don't recall reading since having left here---keep that grasp of the classical, develop it, master it... it will be rewarding in the future--- As for the subject matter, again, it seems like you're a fan of classical poetry, because your approach to the real world has a romantic touch to it. Being a huge fan of romantic poetry myself I felt very moved by what you had to say here, the subtle commentary you made in admiration of the growing plants, the signifiers of Spring, and the personal tone of the poem suggesting that you have pondered on something and discovered value in it, and your poem, self-conscious, wants to bring it to light. It's lovely. I am very sincerely looking forward to something more of yours. Brian http://www.livejournal.com/~new_formalism |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
quite serene I think the style suits the subject very well |
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