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Open Poetry #32
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Corrugated Stems
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Corrugated Stems |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Slow the rain fell drops not so big as to make loud the noise of wet on tin but to sizzle as if on low heat what was warmed wanted to tremble to writhe against the flat feel of bed it lay on. Tin roofs amplify the spaces that lie between drops until you hear the silences unspoken at times filled with sighs other and in such void I watched you lean relaxed against piled pillows languorous smile playing cornered lips still swollen from the press of my own I looked for two vases one to fill with flowers for you and one to leave empty knowing when you were gone I'd need someplace to put the stems of my own feelings hiss this falling drizzle against steel and while you are here I at least will take a moment and begin to feel |
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| © Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"I looked for two vases one to fill with flowers for you and one to leave empty knowing when you were gone I'd need someplace to put the stems of my own feelings" Thi sizzles Captain..then leads us to the ache.. Wonderful honest feelings portrayed so well here. ~Soft Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ To have lived the dream of a love so true... |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Line after line begs 'keep me'... so I shall. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat, Well done, enjoyed the read. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Whew, that was quite something. Feelings in the empty vase-I love it. Sandra |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You are just soooooooooo good. You've got to be one of the sexiest, most sensual writers I've ever read.  Let's just say your work has certain, um, physical effects on me. I'd better shaddup now, huh? tease...  |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Slow the rain fell Tin roofs amplify the spaces that lie between drops until you hear the silences unspoken at times filled with sighs other and in such void I looked for two vases one to fill with flowers for you and one to leave empty knowing when you were gone I'd need someplace to put the stems of my own feelings"" ~ Indeed this is simply amazing and very touching, in my own understanding of how the verses affect  ~~**~~ The sound of silence calls, I hear your voice and suddenly I'm falling, lost in a dream The echo of our souls meet ~~**~~ |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
"I looked for two vases one to fill with flowers for you and one to leave empty knowing when you were gone I'd need someplace to put the stems of my own feelings" ~ Without reading the other replies, I too, had to post these words... truly original! I love this concept, indeed. "I have gone away. The bed is cold and empty. Trees bend their boughs toward the earth. And nighttime birds float as black faces. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
The impact of your words and thoughts are profound, dear friend, Ron... flowing like smooth silk Regards, Sudhir |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I watched you lean relaxed against piled pillows languorous smile playing cornered lips still swollen from the press of my own I looked for two vases one to fill with flowers for you and one to leave empty knowing when you were gone I'd need someplace to put the stems of my own feelings Wow Ron, this totally melted me iin many ways. I'm keeping this because I want to read it over and over. You are amazing  Maree. Have you any dreams you'd like to sell? |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Exceptional write. An example of "very good" poetry! |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
I agree with Grover on this one. Very nice poetry. JL |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"Tin roofs amplify the spaces that lie between drops until you hear the silences unspoken at times filled with sighs other and in such void I watched you lean relaxed against piled pillows languorous smile playing cornered lips still swollen from the press of my own" I love the way you set a scene.  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
nicely done, C...all of it M |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Ah geez....How does one respond to this without sounding....well, the sycophant. I'll just say...Damn fine! (and the river has been behaving of late...praise be!) |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
So many lines, so many..and most of which I can understand. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
absolutely in awe here |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Wonderfully written...as always. believe in what your heart feels... |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
yes, awe is a good word to describe this, not only the feelings portrayed but the poetic perfection...... *standing to applaud* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
forgot to click library... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"hiss this falling drizzle against steel and while you are here I at least will take a moment and begin to feel" Those were my fav... "hiss" yes...in protest at times.. "a moment and begin to feel"....hmmmm, so delicious...exactly..."a moment" because who knows what will happen... I missed a few moments I should have taken. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Ah yes, the way to seize the day.... it's always that future absence that shows up uninvited... well done cap.. |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
"The stems of my own feelings..." Nicely said. Had to search some for your latest. Good to read you again. Bob |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron...so glad that Bob brought this back up...I missed it while I was gone...as always, I'm touched by your words.  |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Enjoyed this one. Joyce |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Tin roofs amplify the spaces that lie between drops until you hear the silences unspoken at times filled with sighs other You. are. the. best. !! Always leaving me in awe. library. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
If my heart were a vase, then you just filled it with those feelings -- now this is a keeper. |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
I can't read your work just once; it is so compelling! Every piece of your work that I've read inhales the reader into it. Then when it's over, it calls to be read and savored again. Needless to say, I kinda enjoyed this! Sadelite |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
That does it, I'm going out to buy vases tomorrow...in anticipation! Seriously, this is such an aromatic sensual piece of writing....hmmm, maybe I'll print this one out and just fill one vase with your words. |
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