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Open Poetry #32
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muted
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since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

0 posted 2004-07-01 04:22 AM




(*a muted and Gentle Spirit production*)

Legacy of Touch
``````````````````

Countless years have passed
through fingers one grain
of memory at a time
moments are falling sands
overflowing from grasping hands

those that held the touch
of a child to a mother's
scented embrace
perfumed palms that have
held the heavy weight
from her husband's shoulders
so his calloused fingertips
could savour the rosy plump
of his infant's cheeks
leaving fingerprint impressions
of love that kisses the world away.

a sensation that lingers through generations
Cherished hearts safely resting
in a finger's breadth of remembrance.

Recollections of love bound
to babe swathed in family’s embrace,
reaching into golden years
awakening echo’s voice,
sweet sounds of laughter drifting
through the passages of time.

Scenes roll, frame by frame
images capturing moments,
of life
each a jewel
treasured in mind.
From the moment of birth
growing, proceeding
to that of a man, forever of strength
held to a wife's bosom,
crying together as their child
sets out in life, ready to fly...
ready to try.

Hands holding on tenderly
with fingers stretched out
slowly letting go,
knowing that this bond of love
is held forever
on the edges of eternity.

© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved
MovesInSilence
Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 111
Perth, Australia
1 posted 2004-07-01 04:51 AM



awsome piece of writing ... not sure who did what bit but it got me going ... such imagery in my mind .. was wonderful to read and enjoy.

It's not the blindfold that blinds you,
it's the person that puts it there.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2004-07-01 04:52 AM


Recollections of love bound
to babe swathed in family’s embrace,
reaching into golden years
awakening echo’s voice,
sweet sounds of laughter drifting
through the passages of time.

Scenes roll, frame by frame
images capturing moments,
of life
each a jewel
treasured in mind.
From the moment of birth
growing, proceeding
to that of a man, forever of strength
held to a wife's bosom,
crying together as their child
sets out in life, ready to fly...
ready to try.


Goodness you two, this is ever precious....the whole thing and the above lines? are my favourite.

You must duet again.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2004-07-01 08:19 AM


very nice... very nice indeed....
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2004-07-01 08:23 AM



Now, this.  This is wonderful.  You have taken simplicity of love for family and underscored it with both sensitivity and compassion.

A beautiful writing...a wonderful duet.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2004-07-01 08:45 AM


There was not one line in here that was better then the other, each and every word fit and was beautifully designed, softly, gently, the images became alive....how lovely you write.  

Wishing you a great weekend ahead!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
6 posted 2004-07-01 08:49 AM


Mocking the comments above, you two have done a beautiful thing here...glad I was able to catch it.

jimmy

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2004-07-01 09:29 AM


When all the superlatives have been used..
may I just add....
Brava!  To two of Passions finest writers!

Something tugs at me, I've no doubt of that.
Something from the sea, whichever one I'm near.
When I stray too far from beachland, it calls me back

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2004-07-01 10:35 AM


Well done you two!

  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2004-07-01 12:11 PM


you blend together so very well

beautifully done

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2004-07-01 12:28 PM


"Scenes roll, frame by frame
images capturing moments,
of life
each a jewel
treasured in mind.
From the moment of birth
growing, proceeding
to that of a man, forever of strength
held to a wife's bosom,
crying together as their child
sets out in life, ready to fly...
ready to try."

You two created a lovely write together.  Feel like I was watching the movie.   .......jo

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

11 posted 2004-07-01 03:01 PM


I wanted to thank everyone for the kindness of your words. It is so much appreciated.

Dawn~thank you so very much for the blending of our words resulting in a duet that I am very very proud of.  It was a joy
writing with you!  

It's better than I could have planned..
it's made me who I am...
{Trace Adkins}

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
12 posted 2004-07-01 05:02 PM


Solid, seamless and bittersweet. But this...

           "ready to fly...
ready to try."

Is the part that I come back too.


Good job Ladypoetwomen!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
13 posted 2004-07-02 12:14 PM


Seamless is a perfect description for this lovely write...where I can enjoy two of my favorite authors...together.
TD

muted
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since 2004-01-15
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
14 posted 2004-07-02 12:45 PM


Thank you everyone

and Donna, thats all you up there..ALL YOU.
I think you did beautifully...more than beautifully

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

15 posted 2004-07-02 09:07 AM


Ed, Td, thank you both very much!

aww Dawn your so precious, thank you.  

[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (07-02-2004 11:31 AM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
16 posted 2004-07-02 11:19 AM


Scenes roll, frame by frame
images capturing moments,
of life
each a jewel
treasured in mind.

Ladies, ladies, this is truly a treasure that overflows
with a very special kind of love.

Absolutely gorgeous you two~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

17 posted 2004-07-06 01:18 PM


Bluesy, thanks so much for the slide by and kind words.  Hugs to you.

Dawn, again thank YOU for the pleasure!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
18 posted 2007-11-11 12:57 PM


enjoyed to both of you

ARCTIC WIND

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