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Open Poetry #32
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Restless
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Restless |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart 
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Awake I lye, as if laying on paper, Thoughts run high, escaping my head like a vapor, Breathless I become, tossing, turning, moving, dying a slow death, Alone, dark, empty, tears become ice, for you were my breath, To inhale you, my world of black and white, becomes colorful, Life becomes born, love becomes free, all becomes wonderful, For now I am...restless Waiting for one breath of you, to fill my emptiness.... Waiting....restless.... Open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart, let me come in and show you love.....~ARH |
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| © Copyright 2004 Millette A. (Lester) Addison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
oooooooohh! this is gorgeous! |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Thank you miss Dixie..hugs  love ~ARH  Open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart, let me come in and show you love.....~ARH |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
This is a fine poem of your heart....if a little sad....love is the answer..... Thank you.... Goldenrose. ''There is no need for temples, no need for complicated Philosophies. |
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forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
This is a decent piece, but can I ask you a question. Why did you mispell "lie" in your first line. You have, "Awake I lye". Lye is an acid. It's stuff you use to make soap. I don't think this is an image that is appropriate to the poem. If you're using creative liscense, fine, change it to "ly" or "li", but "lye" in my opinion bring in an image that confuses the reader. I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Writing poetry helps me to get over times when I feel restless. It appears as tho' you like you write poetry as well at those times! You portrayed that restless feeling so well, that I now have the urge to write some poetry! lol Remember, "And this too shall pass"! Warm hugs, EA |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Beautiful ... really enjoyed the way this all came together...and ended, jwesley |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
A Romantic Heart - yes indeed, you have a romantic heart... BC |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
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Obscurity Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153In A Melancholic Dream |
I loved this, completely beautiful. I especially enjoyed this stanza: quote: Esquisite imagery |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
Waiting for one breath of you, to fill my emptiness.... ,ohhh my goshhhhh , this is too good how can you just show up and rock my world with this poem ... A+ for you romance Queen  p.s. the pic is smokin hot ( wowsa babe ) lata wolfy |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Ahhh, the breath of love. We can't do without, no. Wonderfully penned. Love and Joy, Margherita |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
You communicated exactly what you wanted to -- so well written!  ...jo |
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CastleGuard Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760Alberta, Canada |
Yes, the breath of love can cure many ills... CG |
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