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Open Poetry #32
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Say Love Forever Or Never At All
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Say Love Forever Or Never At All |
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Tequilia_Sunrise Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada 
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Say Love Forever Or Never At All The pieces of love's myth shatter and fall For young hearts filled with love and hope will soar Say love forever or never at all Fairy tales are the dreams on which we all call Soon it bears no resemblance to before The pieces of love's myth shatter and fall Daring lovers blind to truth stand tall And pledge the world to the one they adore Say love forever or never at all Hollow promises made with backs to the wall Stagnate in your soul until there's no more The pieces of love's myth shatter and fall Joy eludes us, to it we all must crawl And hearts with love and hope will soar once more Say love forever or never at all Without your love, your like will all but stall Your love will find broken dreams to restore The pieces of love's myth shatter and fall Say love forever or never at all |
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| © Copyright 2004 Amanda Seymour - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wornways Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204CA, USA |
This one almost made it off the first page without a comment. I like it when people explore poetic forms. No punctuation, that's always a challenge when working with the villanelle. This form seems to like punctuation, but I think it works alright here without punctuation. Kind of dark, depressing. This isn't a bad thing. I myself write more depressing stuff than anything else. Kind of hard to delude one's self into thinking the world's in great shape and all's going to be well right now. Though, this is more personal than that. It might be worth looking over the metrics again. For instance, "all call" is tricky to read. Just saying "on which we call" will read more smoothly, and this statement implies "all" anyway. - I no longer ask who I am, or even what I am. It has dawned on me that there are no answers to such questions, except for our feeble-minded notions. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
 I've tried this form before and I absolutely stink at it....maybe someday. Yours was great! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very talented, you are |
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Tequilia_Sunrise Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada |
thankx everyone for your lovely comments  |
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