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Open Poetry #32
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Ebony Tide (A collaboration with serenity blaze)
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Ebony Tide (A collaboration with serenity blaze) |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
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Ebony Tide It was during the growing moon when the wine was fine and garlands weaved through her hair: an ebony tide came to be all around her when games of chance induced sleep amongst the whores of pimpled homosexuals and devious married men happily slapping their habit away… “You are gorgeous” (you have the BEST face all prune wrinkles) he was the descendent of Saturn the storm of Zeus and there was no forgetting the questioning in his old eyes as she touched upon his face. (she IS poetica) “your lines are like dry gullies carved by tears like dry riverbeds that left crystals telling stories and when you shave tomorrow understand those marks are that of PRIDE”. serenity blaze and dark angel 060604 The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. ~Stevie Nicks~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow!!! Just fabulous you two!  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic write by two of Passions finest poets. Brava! And may we beg 'more' please? ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, lemme tell yas both, you are beyond a doubt two of the finest talents of free verse here and I knew this would be special and it is. I do wish you would clarify a couple of points for me, though, because sometimes I am very dense when it comes to figuring other people's thoughts out and, knowing how deep the two of you can write, I don't want to miss any of the meaning due to my inadequacies. the whores of pimpled homosexuals Are you referring to males here, since homosexuals don't have female "whores" I assume or does the word have a deeper meaning? devious married men happily slapping their habit away… Help!! Wazzat mean??  Thanks for putting up with me  |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Martie, thank you..God, she is amazing isn't she. Nancy, "And may we beg 'more' please?" oh you may, and I know I'd love to do "more" with m'lady serenity. Thank you. Bal, you know you have a point there and I can understand why you question it. quote: a question to you though...how do you know homosexuals don't have female "whores" I assume you know or assume that you assume they have male "whores" only. I actually did mean female "whores", hanging around pimpled (young) homosexuals which they have no clue about. I guess I havent made myself clear, but that wasn't really my intention. I was just setting a scene around two people that happend to collide and adore one another for a moment somewhere in time. quote: ok I know this sounds um rather crude, but it isn't what it sounds like hehe. this... "when games of chance" is supposed to imply, something like a casino or a gaming room, slot machines etc..(yup probably not real clear)which brings me to "devious men happily slapping their habit away" slapping the 'slot machine' "their habit" 'gambling' away. I knew what I meant and Karen too LOL just thought everyone else would too, c'mon Bal how long have you known me for now? lol kidding 'Deer. Glad you questioned and I hope I cleared a few things up for you and you don't have to agree happy that you enjoyed. youMaree. The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Aha! That's exactly what I meant. I knew that you both knew exactly what you meant and I just wasn't getting it due to my densitude (new word)  . Thanks for the explanation. The closest I could come was thinking that perhaps married men were finding women they could mistreat or "slap around", something their wives would never stand for. Now please excuse me while I go slap a slot machine!  Yep, I've known you a long time, dear lady....long enough to know there is quality in everything you write. Thanks for puttin' up with me |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Brava! Yes, yes, the two of you must write more together! Awesome. Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
"ok I know this sounds um rather crude, but it isn't what it sounds like hehe." why, whatever do you mean? i never for a second thought it might mean something else.. Nice work, now i now what the moody blues were singing about..you and k a real gemini dream |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
shaking my head here...it's all Maree, folks. all I did was tell a story, she made it poetry... Maree? It's YOU who's amazing luscious lovie. Thank you. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
What a present you gifted us, the both of you...twins that you are. Special, special... and headed for the library with a rose-colored lightbulb...  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
an interesting collaboration and read...and I, in my naivete' had similar questions to Balladeer... I learn something new everyday on here. ~smiling~ M |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Mmm Hmm, Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' bout! Sounds like the corner of 5th and Market. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
“your lines are like dry gullies carved by tears like dry riverbeds that left crystals telling stories and when you shave tomorrow understand those marks are that of PRIDE”. ================================= quote: "(she IS poetica) yeppers...BOTH OF YOU  |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
Janet Marie snagged the part i was going to quote......far out..this is MIGHTY FINE WRITIN'.... cant go wrong with you sweety and cant go wrong with miss serenity as inspiration |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thankn you everyone, so much for your lovely replies and comments. They mean so much. 'Deer and Gorgeousness... you ROCK.... if it weren't for your words I would not have been able to come up with mine and like I said to you..."you are poetica" m'lady.Thank you for having faith in me. Love you I do. Maree. The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. ~Stevie Nicks~ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
most excellent collab... regards sudhir |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
yes, those lines JM highlighted, so rich and full of life, loving this tale. Really something to get your teeth into. When I read this, i kept thinking of red wine. I don't know what that means, but I thought it was only right to tell you. haha. I too, was as confused as Balladeer on those lines. especially about, oh, you know which one. expertly done, ladies. xx |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I actually got this! You two are magic together, how's about a Manage A Trois now with the Yeti in the middle? Yuppers, you are poetica indeed! |
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Kevo Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466Navarro County, Texas, USA |
I thought this piece was brilliantly written. It was very thought-provoking and well constructed. You both seem to have a standard of perfectionism that shines through and exudes pure talent. I have the same problem in my writing. Anyway, I am in awe of both of you and the creative arc that binds you together. I look forward to reading more from each of you. I am new here and am trying to grow a few roots of my own. I have relatively few posts, but post when I can. This one I could not, would not pass up without jotting something heartfelt down. This echos flawless creation. It is simply a great bit of writing. I will join others in watching out for more from both of you. Best regards and pleased to make your acquaintance, Kevin |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
this is a remarkable duet...really beautiful words from you both! take care, amy "When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter" |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Two of my favorite poets! I still think there was a hidden meaning 'Deer. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Awesome......totally! ! ! You job you two! ....jo |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
loved it |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
The curse of a man with too little time for the things he loves....to be touched by one of them and pass on without an adequate response, as if he were numb to the very purpose he came.... I read this beautiful poem on the first day...now I see I never answered. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hey little girl... Happy Birthday! |
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