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Open Poetry #32

But I Know Better Now

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2004-06-05 07:37 PM

But I Know Better Now

Thought if I picked up everything
that belonged to you
and put it somewhere
out of sight –
I’d forget to think of you.

Didn’t work.

Couldn’t hide the memories,
the lingering odor of your perfume,
didn’t even try
to remove the “I love you” in lipstick
on the bathroom mirror,
or the book you left
laying on the bed.

Couldn’t.

Despite what others may do,
killing myself isn’t in me,
and to remove those things
would have torn my heart in two.

Death would have come instantly.

I hid everything else,
some I even threw away –
the napkin we drew pictures on,
the song we sang together and put on CD,
the wine bottle from Francine’s,
the day we met,
how much I loved you,
the tears I no longer cry.

Liar.

I threw nothing away.

And I face today just as yesterday,
thinking –
if I picked up everything
that belonged to you
and put it somewhere
out of sight –
I’d forget you.

But I know better now.

That’s something I could never do.

w. james beard, jr.
© june 2004

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA