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Open Poetry #32
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Heaven Sakes
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Heaven Sakes |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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~*~ I heard you passed through town the other day looking in on some property you never bothered to bid on. Could have made yourself a small fortune if you'd played your cards right. Instead you road off into the sunset and never looked back. Kind of reminds me of myself, and some of the other town folk who carried a torch too far and came away with nothing, reckon that's why I don't miss you much. Now, I hate to break it to you honey but your band wagon ain't what it used to be although I'm sure you can find a couple takers to hitch up and ride a while. Aw mean, what women in her right mind could resist your pitch but it's only fair, mind you, that a lady knows which fork to use. Kind of figured you didn't care much for the sassy type fast and easy kept it simple and I understand it might have cost you a pretty penny to wine and dine them all at the same time. Now don't get me wrong darlin', I'm not saying you forced it down. But the way I see it, shots of moonshine say alot about a man, not that my tastes are that expensive, but I'm a bit partial to finer things. I can sit here sipping my mint juleps without shedding a single tear, for heaven sakes. Cause they go down real smooth without burning up my insides. Honest to Gawd, I don't mind watching reruns long as I don't have a part in them. Truth is sugar, I've moved up from the penny candy store and away from that part of town where most folks are still bartering with their hearts. Course that's just fine and dandy by me, I still have alot to give, and I've got no intention of selling out for some nickel and dime thrill. Well shoot and damn, I've been so busy flying off the handle I forgot to mention I opened up my own candy store. Nope, I don't sell hearts or anything too fancy but you can bet your last silver dollar, it's just as sweet as can be. ~*~ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
OOOOOOO YEAH!!! SMACK DOWN!!!!  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
YES!! You tell'em Bluesy!! Love the way you handled this one.  Hugs~ To have lived the dream of a love so true... |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Now I am not too partial to many sweets Tending towards pies and cakes instead of hard candy, Perhaps a single piece that can last a while Got any in your store like that? Enjoyed the poem And it’s folksy style Gloom |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
well written, these types of guys are certainly the adventurous ones, but...they are very intimidated by independent smart woman, their own age...they've got a thing for children, woman who could be their daughters age...to me that speaks volumns about their sense of confidence Wonderful write and read |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Very interesting. Sounds convincing, well almost. Very creative and a great write. JL |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Aw mean, what women in her right mind could resist your pitch but it's only fair, mind you, that a lady knows which fork to use. I don't know if you meant it to be this way, but I laughed aloud at when I read which fork to use "as the pitchfork"--too cute! I liked the folksy of this,too. It is a different write from you than I expected. Such versatility... Sadelite |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
LOVED THIS! LOL, you certainly put a smile on my face.. fantastic sassy write!! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Oh, this is good, Bluesy gal! Gave me a chuckle! And I'm a thinking there's some truth in the fact that women are the stronger sex - guess we must be to come out on the right side of tears. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
YOU TELL EM, GIRL!!! Lori, I LOOOOVVVEEEE this!!!!! It's so sassy!! You might not can tell it on here, but I've got a really sassy streak, too.....when enough is enough!!! (Just ask Gary!!! LOL) Love ya, my friend  Ethel |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I don't mind watching reruns long as I don't have a part in them.  well, Lori, this has to be the one that takes the cake...I love it and all that stands behind its meaning. hugss and more hugss M |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
I see you talking and walking tall and straight, while the one you talk to ducks... Great write. Love, Margherita |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Lori, good for you, both for the poem and your sass! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Smiling from ear to ear here Ms Blues...yee-hahhh you go baby! Love it. Maree. Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
LOL~ I'm loving all your replies! Thank you everyone for letting me vent, and reading this little ditty of mine. |
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forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
This is very nice. It's got a great rhythm to it, and it's got a wonderful VOICE. The speaker is very colloquial and it suits the poem perfectly. I really enjoyed this one! I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A sassy write indeed! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"I don't mind watching reruns long as I don't have a part in them." ~ Me neither, girlfriend! "and I've got no intention of selling out for some nickel and dime thrill." ~ and I repeat, "Me neither, girlfriend!" lol Fun and folksy, but I definitely get the drift of the undercurrents! Linda |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
I can picture you standing there hands on hips spouting off too! Great piece (of mind!). jimmy |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
sassy is right....vent all ya wish....it heals the heart...  pretty lady~~**~~ |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
Nah nah nah nah nah naaaah! Loved it Loved it Loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
yea go for the jugular love that blonde!!! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"Well shoot and damn..." That line cracks me up no matter how many times I hear it...  Love this "voice" Lori!! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Bluesy - I bet you are as sweet as can be... BC |
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