rays of stone, blocks of sun

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brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2004-06-02 12:01 PM

how to describe
the tracery
of
      the
intermingled

a beginning in time.....yes
      (as if that were real)
but something
vertical
         a totemmaypole tree
    of life
         or something similar

then a growth
from that
               a mixture
            of curves
          and straight lines
human needs
and the whims of life

         a finite but
boundless
     field
               like a circle
no...
like a field
            of wheat
in all four corners
     growing as it will

   and through the heart
of each field--

    the path

                  that is used to
                 access
               the fruits
                         of it
       -- the straight line

our carved stone
and the Sun

written on a page
    as if
lovers tangled in blankets

         not knowing
          whose arm
                whose skin
       we were kissing

  a butterfly's wing
      and it's tracery of veins

your initial
laid over mine

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2004-06-02 12:16 PM

our carved stone
and the Sun

written on a page
    as if
lovers tangled in blankets

         not knowing
          whose arm
                whose skin
       we were kissing

  a butterfly's wing
      and it's tracery of veins

your initial
laid over mine
========================

oh my---have mercy on the moths.

awesome ending poet sir...
very very cool.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

2 posted 2004-06-02 12:22 PM

Phenominal writing!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

3 posted 2004-06-02 12:23 PM

very very kewl indeed Brian

Maree.

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-06-02 02:11 AM

wow...just wow

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

5 posted 2004-06-02 04:50 AM

"  a finite but
boundless
     field
               like a circle
no...
like a field
            of wheat
in all four corners
     growing as it will

   and through the heart
of each field--

    the path

                  that is used to
                 access
               the fruits
                         of it
       -- the straight line"

this is so sensual, fertile, whimsical, yet earthy and grounded....very nice images here

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

6 posted 2004-06-02 08:27 AM

This really was beyond beautiful.

"human needs
and the whims of life"

yes...indeed..

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2004-06-02 08:38 AM

A happy comes over me
when I see your name.
I get a cup of coffee...
or a glass of wine
[depending on time of day]

and indulge.

Only certain poets
allow me indulgence...
you are in THAT group...:hugs;

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

8 posted 2004-06-02 09:45 AM

Beautiful work, and the presentation --

You make me feel like a rookie.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

9 posted 2004-06-02 09:55 AM

written on a page
as if
lovers tangled in blankets
.
.
.
but loved it all~~
M

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

10 posted 2004-06-02 03:03 PM

"lovers tangled in blankets"

I think I'll carry this one around...

kinda like pigpen.

miss you.

and yes, you are the poet.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

11 posted 2004-06-03 03:36 PM

your lines are so very pickable... to pick and highlight and enjoy

thanks for the pleasure of the read...

regards
sudhir

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