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Open Poetry #32
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Persimmon Induced Metaphor
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Persimmon Induced Metaphor |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving 
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I mentioned how exotic the fruit seemed how I had never tasted its strangeness before, but someone more familiar with its charm explained that it was sweet, almost too much and though its skin was tough it was still edible... "Still edible?" I thought as I bit in. "Too sweet?" it did cross my mind, But to me, though the taste was akin to something more common to my life, it was still foreign enough to remain a romantic notion, especially in the aftertaste where the memory sleeps on the tongue. As for it’s sweetness I did take pause, then decided, nothing could ever be too sweet even if it is hard to swallow. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
your insight is simply amazing...  |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Beautifully said Dawn, I couldn't agree more. No matter how bittersweet, the after taste is something to be savored, indeed!! Thank you so much for this, it is a beautiful reflection of the poetess you are, and all the good things that come our way. Much love to you, just for knowing the leaps and bounds, and the pitfalls in between, and more especially for stating it in the very best way~ |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Beautiful words muted, ever had a bad persimmon though? Dear jesus.....I haven't been able to touch them since. If i want exotic i'll stick to pomegranates and Angelina jolie..mmm Angelina Jolie. Um..yeah..what were talking about? |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
LOL @ Aenimal |
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MovesInSilence Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 111Perth, Australia |
 sweet things are always sooooo nice .... not so much the after thoughts but we all chase the sweet sweet things .... *drools* |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you are very clever |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
A very tasteful poem. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Smiling ar you. You're so right... nothing can ever be too sweet.  Hugs YOU! ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
smiling...and sighing...great write |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Is it wrong that my mind was totally in the gutter on this one?? Loved this line: "where the memory sleeps on the tongue" Excellent Dawn! "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
usually you assoicate hard to swallow wiht sour not sweet...very intresting, but much enjoyed Beauty is truth, truth beauty |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
Eor: it was more a metaphor for finding something in life that is soooooo good you just cant believe it true... LOL @ Susan (ya naughty girl ) |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
mmmm a very appetising write m'muted friend. Next! Mxx Oh did I mention I am going to keep this? The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I have a persimmon tree...and so, my mind was there in the gutter with Susans...enjoyed this!! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Muted Cuted One -- my grandma had a persimmon tree -- with anticipation we waited every year for them -- you caught a memory of mine fleeting through time and penned it perfectly!  |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Well, yeah. I can see a metaphor (or two) in here myself! Sweet poem |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I will never look at a persimmon in the same way ever again. ~ and I will most likely think of you every time I eat one! lol A metaphorically brilliant write! EA |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Beautiful merging of real-life and metaphor. Your attentiveness to detail and relaxed voice add wisdom and strength.... So bittersweet! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL at a few replies. Hmm, I've known the persimmon for most my life, but never could finish one. I thoroughly enjoyed this tasty write though, and appreciate this sweet metaphor, if not the fruit.  |
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