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Open Poetry #32
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brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2004-05-22 12:27 PM



a tiny lake
        on top of
a tiny mountain

     steady through the glass

leading
   the demure wind
to you

      gold on the brow
but the
inside
     was rainbows explained

    symbols
broken down

        and laid out

on the dreaming floor
            


© Copyright 2004 brian sites - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2004-05-22 12:35 PM


Wow, what visions.

I'm liking reading ya Brian. (where have I been all this time?)

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
2 posted 2004-05-22 12:41 PM


alright you...this is damn good

"...symbols broken down..."

its amazing how we can measure something so small as to seem intangible...and its amongst those unseen things we find the greatest impact. (be it literal or figuritive)

"rainbows explained"

this rocks Mr.Sites!!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2004-05-22 02:36 AM


The test of a diamond has nothing to do with ability to cut glass--but actually, the way that a certain liquid gathers or dissipates through the eyeglass.

But I think you know that.

Like the test of diamond, this all falls together.

Love you my love.


muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
4 posted 2004-05-22 02:40 AM


serenity said it perfect

the clarity within...(even though i find flaws charming)

you two duet please

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
5 posted 2004-05-22 04:31 AM


never cease to amaze, i'm with muted duet, i never get enough
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-05-22 05:27 AM


wow
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2004-05-22 10:17 AM


a tiny lake
        on top of
a tiny mountain

     steady through the glass

leading
   the demure wind
to you

      gold on the brow
but the
inside
     was rainbows explained
=================================


this is stunning!!!!!!
and how cool is this.....

leading
   the demure wind
to you



lovely with a capitol L.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2004-05-23 02:07 AM


Brian -- I'm really enjoying your writing -- this was wonderfully descriptive and imaginative!   ....jo
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