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Open Poetry #32
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-05-21 01:18 PM



Curd of cloud crowd thick air
And in pregnant shuffle
Cross the sky
Not yet due to break
They labor it seems
While below
Like so many instruments of decision
People line the highways and streets
With steel trapped movement
Bubbled in their microclimate
Of cold air and exhaust

The green strips seem out of place
In concrete and commerce
Yet they cling to color
Showing flowers planted to create illusions
And soften the edges of mind
With the hope the guy who just cut you off
Won’t pull into a rage of bent fender or flying bullets
Or the lady next to you on the four lanes
Which merge to two
As darkened men rip into aged concrete bridge sides
Will get off the cell phone long enough
To find her place in line for the wait

Impatience
Already born of Friday sits heavily on people

And I in the humid clime of spring
See little growth among the seeds planted
By the loss of two towers
       Or the humiliation of people we went to save
From being abused… and humiliated by their own

So self absorbed perhaps we are indeed
Absorbing our own sense of self

Will anyone remember for more than the moment of guilt
That we are indeed not islands and that in the diminishing of one
We all are less?

“Forgive me God”
  I’ve lost hope in this the morass of man
And find I need to see instead for now
The underside of leaves turned in reach of rain
Be redeemed

© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
1 posted 2004-05-21 01:23 PM


This makes me think of Frost.

Very beautiful reminder of looking to simpler things of nature to get us back on track.

I enjoyed.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-05-21 01:23 PM



You need to move
to a smaller town...

for I saw the title and thought...
"Now, it's a good Friday..."

it still is...in a smaller town...

muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
3 posted 2004-05-21 01:27 PM



"Will anyone remember for more than the moment of guilt
That we are indeed not islands and that in the diminishing of one
We all are less?

“Forgive me God”
  I’ve lost hope in this the morass of man
And find I need to see instead for now
The underside of leaves turned in reach of rain
Be redeemed"
````````````````````````````````

nodding to you, knowing you speak truth


wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2004-05-21 02:33 PM


Hard sometimes, isn't it? To keep the faith in "us"

Nicely done m'friend

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2004-05-21 02:37 PM


The underside of leaves turned in reach of rain
Be redeemed"


Incredible..very much enjoyed this read...

Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

6 posted 2004-05-21 02:49 PM


wow... I love this. There once was actually wildness underneath the concrete of my city - animals one dared live here...



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2004-05-21 04:12 PM


It is so difficult to keep hanging on...
holding out hope...I know what you mean.
Excellent honest write here Captain..
Good to read you today.
Heart hugs.

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

8 posted 2004-05-21 04:16 PM


The imagery of the first verse is excellent.

"And find I need to see instead for now
The underside of leaves turned in reach of rain
Be redeemed"


Strong write!  Enjoyed, even though sad.
        Sadelite

[This message has been edited by Sadelite (05-22-2004 02:04 PM).]

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
9 posted 2004-05-21 04:26 PM


Very nice!

JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2004-05-21 04:35 PM


Ron

"Will anyone remember for more than the moment of guilt
That we are indeed not islands and that in the diminishing of one
We all are less?"

Poignant, thougtful writing, my friend.  

RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
11 posted 2004-05-21 08:52 PM


Quite a summary....

The last several lines pulled it all together.

Well done....my poetic attention span is shorter than most and I could not have pulled myself through to write this.

Robert

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2004-05-22 10:29 AM


Curd of cloud crowd thick air
And in pregnant shuffle
Cross the sky

========================

and that is the coolest and one of the most original cloud descripts Ive seen...

you rock!!!  



And find I need to see instead for now
The underside of leaves turned in reach of rain
Be redeemed

your wish...my command...




iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
13 posted 2004-05-23 06:05 PM


This was an amazing snapshot of how I think many of us feel.  Great poem, Cpat!  
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2004-05-23 07:44 PM


Absolutely fantabulous Ron, such a deeply moving write.

it's a keeper.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
15 posted 2004-05-23 11:53 PM


Great stuff....you always seem to find the deep, even among the shallow.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
16 posted 2004-05-24 02:08 AM


"the underside of leaves"
I love your POV, Ron. It would be so wonderful if all the citizens of this world would see themselves as stomata.

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
17 posted 2004-05-24 08:49 AM




~~**~~
le vent chante avec le calme doux
calme de nuit
sien beauté sur mes lèvres
~~**~~

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