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Open Poetry #32
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Iliad
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Iliad |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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Paris waits in a dying city In a room on the 5th floor Of a generic hotel Waiting reposed His head cradled in a web of his fingers Waiting reposed While Helen, in the bathroom Addresses the concerns of mythological women While the godlings outside Gather historical armies To vie for the future Helen emerges Dressed in abandon Her scent was desire Helen emerged And her breath was warm honey Her touch was the hum And sweet stinging of bees And the godlings inside Put defenders on parapets To protect well, the past Paris and Helen made love With no words of who had stolen whom Or what now might be taken They made love Bending themselves Into the geometries of lovers Spiraled about In a helix of promise While the armies waited In the quivering tension That gives the illusion of objects in motion And as they made love Her cries became lightning Her hips became thunder And the armies still waited For the clash and the crash To fall on the ruins They waited For the tide to break against the hotel Under a downpour of oil and stones And Paris wondered Which moment spawns future From a historical womb Then, Paris wondered Who in the world Might have called room service? [This message has been edited by wranx (04-15-2004 09:25 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx Excellent mataphors well laced into a garment of poetry. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
incredible |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This is one fantastic write!! Hugs~ To have lived the dream of a love so true... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow! Ed, this is amazing! |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
....WOW.... and that last line *made me giggle* but as a whole, found it fantastic |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sweeeeeet!  |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
I adored the tongue-in-cheek way of this one -- great analogies, too! .....jo |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
At first the repetition threw me, and then I felt as if I were seeing the scene "twice"...or otherwise in a stupor of, let's say, several liquid libations, the images appeared twice... ah, very good wranx, now you have me wondering about my wondering... a good sign! A wonderful poem! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling wide... let's send this one round for another spin. me likes veddy much, yeti.  |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WOW.. Just Wow. This is incredible... Keeping it. You go Bro! Mxx Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
fantastic write Ed |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Great write, my friend...Super! jwesley |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
WOW!! great write  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
bravo... as usual... something to ponder and to enjoy..and something not quite as simple as it might seem on the surface... hope the river is behaving..and all is well with you my friend. |
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