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Open Poetry #32
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Something Dark.
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Something Dark. |
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exhale Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646Alberta,Canada 
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i wish you knew this feeling i wish you knew how much this hurts it's alright your little welcome matt i'm not going to be here for you anymore i can barely look at you without getting sick sick to my soul you're not worth anything and you know it,you know it so well little naive me so stupid i should have opened my eyes these tears are forcing themselves out of me a broken mess on the floor you've brought out something much too dark something i don't want to be.. kiss me goodnight,just so i could bite your lip and make you bleed.. [This message has been edited by exhale (05-14-2004 05:47 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Chelsea - All Rights Reserved | |||
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
That last line was a stinger! Sounds like a very volatile situation. Good luck. |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Whoa… A bad and sad situation you have explained so vividly. JL |
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LucidityNow Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118Canada |
wowow, what a rollercoaster of emotions you have taken me on this past week. I hope things steady themselves out for you. Great poem. and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me... |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh, I like that last line. You have a few typos in this one which distract me from the power of the emotion. This one, "your not worth anything" should be -you're-, " niave" should be -naive-, "much to dark" should be -too-, but even with those distractions the emotion came through. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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