On the Road from Zigong ZZ7

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Open Poetry #32

On the Road from Zigong ZZ7

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2004-05-11 08:00 AM

Salt and bright lanterns
The city of Zigong is famous for
Where festive lights burn,
Their gayety is no more
As the summer comes
The spring rains lessen to naught
No joyful dance drums
As worker faces grow taut
Bending in the fields
Filling wagons from salt mines
Strive for what earth yield
With thoughts of spring on minds.
A lantern still swings
Left from festival of spring
What they in Zigong is famous for.

Gloom

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

1 posted 2004-05-11 08:38 AM

Professor,

Again you've taken the reader on a journey. Though your writing is brief, it establishes a setting and encompasses a range and sense of time so well that it feels like I'm a field mouse watching efforts and spirits over time. I enjoyed the bud of optimism:

"With thoughts of spring on minds.
A lantern still swings"

I love this series.

Sadie

[This message has been edited by Sadelite (05-11-2004 10:23 AM).]

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

2 posted 2004-05-11 09:40 AM

Thank you for letting me see it..

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2004-05-11 10:14 AM

Top of the morning to you, Aszard. Interesting scenery!

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

4 posted 2004-05-11 10:53 AM

A vision brought to life by your creative words...I felt despair in the vision...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-05-11 12:46 PM

thought I missed one...but glad I found it

*click*

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

6 posted 2004-05-12 11:13 PM

Prof, I enjoyed the scenes you painted here. This line, "What they in Zigong is famous for." sounds wrong somehow. Should it be 'are famous'?

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

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