Open Poetry #31 |
Fading script |
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I remember CBGB’s and sidewalks walked beside her a few winters before Rudy cleaned up the city. Details long blurred rest next to postcards she sent later, when a thought of me would return at the passing of some candled Chianti bottle or burnt bridge. Tonight the moon muses rose against the snow and I turn fading script over in my hands, wishing it wasn’t still so easy to miss her. |
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© Copyright 2004 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Duncan, oh, this was sad. But, a well written story. |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Tonight the moon muses rose against the snow and I turn fading script over in my hands, wishing it wasn’t still so easy to miss her.'' ~~ I keep this, such an amazing piece! Lauren~ I lie awake at night I reach out to touch Feel you by my side I reach I never feel you Will I ever get to feel you again Just one more time |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
i like the way this is written! just struck a chord with me.. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Damn! ....just, damn. ~ I like not only to be loved, |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Very nice~ I especially liked the Chianti candles and burnt bridges. This was such a pretty piece of your reflection. You did really good, Duncan~ And for my next song~ "There are faces I remember, all my life, though some have changed" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Details long blurred rest next to postcards she sent later, when a thought of me would return at the passing of some candled Chianti bottle or burnt bridge. Tonight the moon muses rose against the snow and I turn fading script over in my hands, wishing it wasn’t still so easy to miss her. =================== SO...this is what you do when ignoring peeeeepul??? wasnt nothing about this one I didnt love..or feel... and this part.... at the passing of some candled Chianti bottle or burnt bridge. what a very cool analogy, metaphor and poetic point of recall. Tonight the moon muses rose against the snow LOVE that image...and the "litterbations" yeah....Im moth giddy.... and you KNOW what that means.... yayayayayayaya................ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ HEH!!!!!!!!!!! There is a pleasure in the pathless woods. There is a rapture on the lonely shore. I love not man the less ... but Nature more. Lord Byron |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
What is this doing down here? ~BUMP~ Everybody's doin' a brand new dance now! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Ah, even a cheap rose can bring down the house can't it? and tonight? Better believe that tonight, a fine Portugese blend can do even more. *sigh* hello porch puppy, hope all is well |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
and I turn fading script over in my hands, wishing it wasn’t still so easy to miss her. Duncan, I really like this. Thanks,.... Ethel |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
gawd...*sigh* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Details long blurred rest next to postcards she sent later, when a thought of me would return at the passing of some candled Chianti bottle or burnt bridge. ~*~ New York, Chicago, Kansas City... what a wonderful write... |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
just now noticed this... will return when i have a bit more time (did want to say that i appreciate the lack of rhyme [sorry JM!]) |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan At least a ninty mile an hour pitch. Enjoyed. |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Very smooth, very well written! Grover. |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Duncan Very nice, form and content....... enjoyed _______ice ><> |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Back. I understand this as well - been there, done that, blah-blah. This is smooth and easy, soft and regretful all at the same time. The only hitch I had is the secreted knowledge that I should know what CBGB's are... and don't! But the next part - quote:- was a cool, vague reference. I betcha many don't know wherof you speaketh. (luckily, I do!). I like this one D. It's reflection on a couple levels, but shows that there are times when only one matters. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Thanks all...I appreciate the time and the replies much. JM...Get that silly tiger off of my thread!!! C...CBGB's is/was a punk club in New York City (fairly well known, I thought...lol). Thanks for the critique, still waitin' on Kamla. |
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