Open Poetry #31 |
Jasmine Tease |
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Perhaps, or not was giggled Among the blooms That scent to catatonic stare As softness floated all Then standing in your garden My gown a thousand petals Raining summer Most stunning your creation Gasped for cleansing breath Of fall In fear the burn Copyright Kkh 4/5/04 |
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© Copyright 2004 Kathleen Harris - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I saw the title and wondered how anyone could describe that--jasmine tease and then, dear lady you open with this most unforgettable line: "Perhaps, or not was giggled" MY GOSH. HOW PERFECT IS THAT? not perfect enough, because you managed to slow scent describe the entire waft to us: "Among the blooms That scent to catatonic stare As softness floated all Then standing in your garden My gown a thousand petals Raining summer Most stunning your creation Gasped for cleansing breath Of fall In fear the burn" Fantastic in form and the virtues of the metaphor are multi. (I loved this one, can you tell?) |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
i think serenity covered it! yes, this is...good stuff |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kathleen~ Soft subtle scent of captivating thoughts~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Most stunning your creation ... that pretty much says it all! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"My gown a thousand petals Raining summer" Kathleen..you leave me sitting here smiling at your words. Beautiful beautiful...much enjoyed. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Before befriending butterflies |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
A striking vision, Kathleen~ So very feminine and quite lovely~ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
*sigh* |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I could smell it. Wonderful. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
The scent of jasmine is teasing me now. Well done, dear poet! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
I, too, was captivated by the title. Pretty crafty you are to weave this tricky one. Sadie |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
"My gown a thousand petals raining summer" Wow..I loved the metaphors in this one. You really did caprure "Jasmine tease" The tone was perfect!! ^*-Kimberley-*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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