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Open Poetry #31
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Humbled
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Humbled |
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ChemicalRepose Member
since 2004-03-28
Posts 102 |
I have swallowed the product to be me and survive on my new found treason Trickle down this mountains frown Dampen this old moss to fill this crevice Forge across these shallow waters to decant these delusions and cleanse my decadence I'm too weak and too fake too immersed to lie too bleak and too feeble to care too weary and too dreary to share any more tears Sweeping overcasts My shadow corroded Shackled to this lightning I'm feeling kind of bored again waiting for this storm to end Silence pounding I'm engaged in this severing, shattering, cracking fill this chasm, and let me free |
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| © Copyright 2004 Ben - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
This is insteresting, firstly because the form gives the impression of an object falling out of control and the words give an impression of impending doom. Good job. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
ive enjoyed this, thought i will have to read it another few times to absorb it all... lot of emotion in this  |
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ChemicalRepose Member
since 2004-03-28
Posts 102 |
Thanks, I try to put all of my thoughts and emotions into everything I write. |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Vivid imagery here. Shows very good talent, excellent metaphors. Enjoyed! |
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