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Open Poetry #31
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New Orleans: 5:38 a.m.
| Open Poetry #31 |
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New Orleans: 5:38 a.m. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Deranged am I the maddened wench note the lines of my gown weigh heavy from entrenched missteps coral slippers dyed to grey from the soot of her exhale laughing through a cigarette mocking parting of the lips "oh" she says "did that hurt you?" hot-so-hot she plays it cool chin in toss of laughter peeled "clip-clip-clip" the shadows grow as the brick bleeds unatoned as the fog conceals reveal-- her giggle was caliope-- she pursed her lips and blew me home waves of tears on river slate-- I'd never felt so alone. Her grit left scratches on my soul weeping in that whispered shout of those Roman Candy Carts and oaken dangled lash of moss... I hated her, her hungriness. I festered for the rest... |
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| © Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Potent! Very painful memory, sounds like. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WHOA Karen... this is powerful. It's bloody magnificent I'm keeping it. Mxx  Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
Karen..powerfull writing.... Thank you... Goldenrose. ''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity'' |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Now Serenity...nobody has ever..I mean ever..seen 5:38 a.m. in the morning in New Orleans!!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Serenity Loves Toerag.  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, Drink the wine, pay the fine, it's all the price of the dine.  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
she pursed her lips and blew me home waves of tears on river slate-- ~*~ I've got to make a return trip... |
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bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
Bravo! good one karen... bernie  A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I saw. Through Serenity's eyes... and now I feel a craving. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
im just going to sit here and gaze at you, because words fail me right now. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Touching screen and hugging you! |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I do wish that I could say what needs said in such a manner. In this manner, m'witch. A beauty Karenity! |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Your words have a way of haunting me until I read your next work.....and then the haunting starts all over again. Exquisite! hugs, Chrislane Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ya'll are so good to me...thank you. (and Toe? somehow I knew you'd get my little joke in the title. Thanks for smiling with me.) and this was just my little take on my love/hate relationship with my hometown. Thanks so much for understanding. Love to all. |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
You never cease to amaze me! Great job! Your choice of words (and wordlessness) are well chosen! Sadie |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
note the lines of my gown weigh heavy from entrenched missteps coral slippers dyed to grey from the soot of her exhale laughing through a cigarette ====================== the shadows grow as the brick bleeds unatoned as the fog conceals reveal-- ======================= Im smiling at you for the imagery in this... once again you turn a moment in time into poetry and put the reader in the moment... then? her giggle was caliope-- you haunt us ... and we love it.   Home is a feeling I buried in you ... |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahh, gentle one, funny how one is reminded of Paris and New Orleans at the same time. Lovely job as always...very gentle smile |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed this a lot |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Hey SereneOne, This made me think of the first time I ever went to Bourbon Street. I loved it. Better not tell all about it now. LOL Hugs, Ethel |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hugs and gratitude and a little poke at Ethel here---smile...you tell me YOUR story, I'll tell ya mine?  "see ya in the lounge?"  |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
been 5:38 in norlins in the mornin on veterans highway or is it a boulevard? not sure I want to remember when the air hangs heavy like the town is one big night club after a gig and you can see famous people leaving the airport not even being discrete the highways stack up on each other turn on each other like the people below somebody is not having a good nite looking down the barrel of a .357 and the party kids think beads and king cakes are cool and never even know  |
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