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Charlies room
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Charlies room |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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Charlies’ room was as odd and eclectic as he At first glance his cluttered space would look no different than that of any high school kid But, if you paid just a little attention, on his walls, among the posters of cars and well-filled bikinis you would see his “portraits” of work boots and old sneakers hanging with a couple uncataloged “DeKoonings” Nestled in the floor sprawl of blue jeans and white socks you could find “National Geographics” “Scientific Americans” and the obligatory “Playboy” as well as a dog-eared copy of Nietzsche The scattering of change on his dresser contained coins bearing images of dead presidents along with the hand-struck profiles of Caesar On the wonder of jumble, that was his desk rested the viscera of extinct radios brass gauges liberated from a Liberty ship an oscilloscope, amphorae And an aquarium a bright and sparkly bit of life shining from the confusion This is where we sat when he told me he was dropping out if school Though he offered, explanation wasn’t needed I knew that our harsh high school was particularly mean to those that were too pale too soft, too meek and too bright So, with that, Charlie ran away to college leaving me to dwell awhile in childhood When I saw him again, some year and a half later his room was much as he’d left it Except for the aquarium Time had taken up residence within its confines Green striations had marked Charlies absence The filter that once bubbled happily in the corner now coughed and spurted sludge in irregular intervals Yet, a movement in the gray-green murk betrayed the presence of a fish still living And when I inquired which of the many may have survived Charlie turned to me and simply said “The fittest” "In looking Northward, I see a light" [This message has been edited by wranx (03-23-2004 10:18 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Wranx, I really enjoy your portraits of people; you show such insight! |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
oh again you amaze me with how you manage to make your characters feel like ive known them for years...very enjoyable  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
What a great story! LOL, I believe Darwin would smile at that ending as much as I did. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful potrait, human and sensitive! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
...uh-oh, I felt right at home! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Do it again. Please. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Excellent. hugs, Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Incredible write. I could see the room and feel the green gunk in the fish tank as if I was the one who had to clean it! Nice ending! (It is unforunate that schools aren't more satisfying to all. I may work on that one! Perhaps that's one reason I continue to try to develop my skills as a writer.) There is so much power behind your pen. Sadie [This message has been edited by Sadelite (03-24-2004 12:19 AM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
thank you for sharing I felt like I was there...amazing! |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Printed this off, for my wife Walls call out Understand as I have Am I just plaster Covered In memories Brilliant Yes bloody good Dave |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Very very good Bro...and like Sunshine said....do it again.. please. M Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
I like your eclectic style and artistic ability to see the thing to write about in the first place and then make it so intriguing right to the end. You're a master of the craft. ~K~ |
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