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Open Poetry #31
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Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
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0 posted 2004-03-08 04:58 PM



Putting On The Hum

humming means
happy, I guess.
Who could doubt?

open hum
like an umbrella
in the house

when it rains in

a roof won’t

or low when dogs of it
follow me in the street

alone or

open the hum
quick cover
put on that blessed hum
smooth
like part of me
they are to think

behind it I am

I am

or tears grinding into me

careful of the pitch
not too much controlling
ready random
not to show

so they won't know

and happy
not too but so
enough to seem

important to make it up
no familiar lines
hints lies or
leading lyrics behind
nor any footprint notes

and never sad
so never never minor

for them
for you

for the hum
I will put it on
now

© Copyright 2004 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2004-03-08 05:07 PM


careful of the pitch
not too much controlling
ready random
not to show

so they won't know

and happy
not too but so
enough to seem

important to make it up
no familiar lines
hints lies or
leading lyrics behind
nor any footprint notes

and never sad
so never never minor

I know this made-up-on-the-spot-no-real-melody-at-all-but-only-I-know tune so well, my friend... You wrote it perfectly. *S*

Those notes created a beautiful poetic cantata... here's hoping they lead you to no-need-to-pretend. *S*

Wonderful work... this is what PIP is missing when you are! *S*

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-03-08 05:09 PM


Oh I am enjoying this...
when I hum, they wonder what I'm up to!
LOL...

So good to see you, Ed!

dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
3 posted 2004-03-08 05:10 PM


Mmmmmm.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-03-08 05:14 PM


Hummmm.....
So good to see you!!!
Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
   So you won't ever forget me ~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2004-03-08 05:27 PM


mmmmmmmmmmm....like this?  Like this!  
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
6 posted 2004-03-08 06:35 PM


It's good to be back, even if it's only for a tiny visit.... Can't say how much I miss this place -- you'd think I was making it up.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2004-03-08 08:18 PM


Very good m'friend

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

8 posted 2004-03-08 08:34 PM


When I go to work I have to do the "HI Ho, HI
Ho it's off to work I go" and whistle a little tune so no one will suspect I'm ...
   I enjoyed your poem immensely.  It's good to see you back.
                Sadie

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2004-03-08 09:04 PM


RatL, what a sweet/sad poem this is.  I really appreciated the analogy of the umbrella, and putting on the hum as if it were a garment to cloak you and to shield others.  
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
10 posted 2004-03-08 09:35 PM


Very nicely done Ed

(I wont sully this with any humdinger cracks)

btw, you can find "Wasteland" completed somewhere in open 31...

Good to see you!

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
11 posted 2004-03-09 09:30 AM


Oh yes brother wranx! It is in this forum, and it is also on my hard drive -- since the day you posted it.

I couldn't respond then but perhaps I can now. Meanwhile, you betcha I've read the best piece of writing that's been put on PIP since I've been here!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
12 posted 2004-03-11 01:24 AM


This has a familar ring to it.
After everything has been said and done,
it's not so bad to carry a tune.

Makes people wonder what you're up to!!  

Nice to read you here Rat man!!


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2004-03-11 03:27 AM


glad to see you
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