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Open Poetry #31
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2004-03-06 07:27 AM



Silver Breath

this morning
two inches
from the
ground rolls
mimosa breath
a silver fog that
has the imagination
to be dew
just not
the courage
feathery leaved
winged dreams
skipping along
on grass tips
gently floating
like warmth
that tickles
the back of
your neck



© Copyright 2004 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

1 posted 2004-03-06 08:13 AM


Very gentle and beautiful write Helen....

Thank you...

Goldenrose.


''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity''

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2004-03-06 10:29 AM


Lovely!!
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2004-03-06 01:18 PM


BRAVO! one of your best! loved the imagery, the softness of this
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-03-06 01:26 PM


you are so awesome at these descriptions
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
5 posted 2004-03-06 01:30 PM


True vision.  Excellent!
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2004-03-06 01:31 PM


Beautiful Helen!!
Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
   So you won't ever forget me ~

RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
7 posted 2004-03-06 03:09 PM


I really LOVE this one.....but I (personally) would have liked to read it with more words per line.

I think it would have been more powerful to me. I know it's hard to decide where to end a line sometimes.

Robert

Silver Breath

this morning two inches from the ground
rolls mimosa breath
a silver fog that
has the imagination to be dew
just not the courage.....
feathery leaved winged dreams
skipping along on grass tips
gently floating like warmth
that tickles the back of your neck.

Now I REALLY LOVE this poem!!

I hope the poetic license has not overstepped the bounds.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
8 posted 2004-03-06 03:22 PM


not at all

ty all

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
9 posted 2004-03-06 04:07 PM


Lovely poem.

Deb

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

10 posted 2004-03-06 04:25 PM


very powerfull

Dave

aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
11 posted 2004-03-06 06:16 PM


ahhhh sweetness .....
Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
12 posted 2004-03-06 06:20 PM


Exceptionally good! Grover.
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2004-03-06 07:27 PM


enjoyed
exhale
Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646
Alberta,Canada
14 posted 2004-03-06 11:54 PM


beautiful
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

15 posted 2004-03-07 12:15 PM


"a silver fog that
has the imagination
to be dew
just not
the courage
"


Speaking of imagination . . .
and I know where the courage is

and the talent

e

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

16 posted 2004-03-07 12:26 PM


such an expressive image...almost visonesque
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