Open Poetry #31 |
The Rise of the Zombies. |
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Yah I have not done a political one in a while. Hope you enjoy it. Critisize it man. Zobies will take over the world One voice at a Time Giving in to expectations and lies..... like life's sublime. You see it in there eyes There is no soul You see it in the smile fake and distraught all of the dreams they stole They have no floor, because they waver in the air. Throughing out random punches to add that flair! Hope no hair is out of place on that fake hair. "Fight evil with evil" "an eye for an eye" Attack all progress just to get up high. After all "dead men donn't tell lies" The undead do...... Funny that man looks like a zombie too. -Juju |
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© Copyright 2004 Juju - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL, enjoyed this, even after wading through a couple of typos. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Sorry about those typo's. I can't find spell check on earthlink. (Sigh) -JuJu |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
first, please look at the spellings... Zombies, their, don't ... etc.... and if you would like to rephrase a bit Zombies will take over the world One voice at a Time Giving in to expectations and lies: like Life's sublime... You see it in their eyes There is no soul You see it in the smile fake and distraught all the dreams they stole They have no floor, because they waver in the air. Throwing out random punches to add that flair! Hope no hair is out of place on that false hair. "Fight evil with evil" "an eye for an eye" Attack all progress just to get up high. After all "dead men don't tell lies" The undead do...... Funny that man looks like a Zombie too. ........ i would advise you to add more subject/content, if you wish to pursue the subject that was just a quick ra-hash of your thoughts... hopefully, you are not cross with me... Good luck and keep writing... regards sudhir |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
No actually I like your changes and your right the only one I didn't right down to check, yet I disagree with false and want fake because its a ........ Whats the word. Starts with a c........ Cacophony I tried to put some words to make it a rhyme/cacophony kind of poem. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Indeed zombies live today...they have sold their souls to the devil...James |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Yes James........ Looking I maybe should change the first fake to false, because repitition works best in threes or more. I take that back your right Sudhir. My bad. -Juju |
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