navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #31 » Cut Off
Open Poetry #31
Post A Reply Post New Topic Cut Off Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2004-03-03 11:48 PM



~*~

Cut off like a scrap of red leather
torn between pillows and seams
my legs hung over
in place of my head
don't
touch me there beneath blankets
thrown over with careless abandon
replaced with a thin sheet
sliding off the edge of desire
and a tear I don't want to shed
pooling my efforts to keep cool
defying any substance to soak up.

~*~

© Copyright 2004 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
1 posted 2004-03-03 11:54 PM


oh, i felt pain from this, a pain very familiar....
i hope you are well


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2004-03-03 11:54 PM


oh, this one aches right off the page Bluesy
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

3 posted 2004-03-04 12:04 PM


a well written verse with all the earmarks of the inspiration for a good blues tune...can almost hear the soulful tones playing in my mind
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-03-04 12:49 PM


Bluesy, great metaphors -- and I have known that feeling, too.  Take care, sweet lady.  
James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
5 posted 2004-03-04 01:03 AM


There's one thing that does dry it, and you know what that is. Love does it, only that.



~~J

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2004-03-04 06:01 AM


I like how you placed "don't" all on it's on...shows strength. You go girl.

Maree

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
7 posted 2004-03-04 08:08 AM


awwww pretty lady this does indeed ache...huggggs from MN....

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2004-03-04 08:37 AM



Yes, what Maree said!

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
9 posted 2004-03-04 09:41 AM


Ouch ... cut off, excellently expressed Blusy , boy of boy I have felt like this

Hope

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2004-03-04 10:25 AM


This one hurts to read... but it's powerful enough to keep the eyes from shying away. *S* Excellent write!
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
11 posted 2004-03-04 11:09 AM


Thanks for all your nice replies everyone.  I guess you could say, I lost my cool there for a minute.     But today is another day, and it's beautiful out.  

Hugs all around!!

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
12 posted 2004-03-04 12:15 PM


Heartrending pain fills these words...I am glad today is beautiful for you....Your writing is very powerfull...

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
13 posted 2004-03-04 01:15 PM


All to real! Grover.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
14 posted 2004-03-04 01:18 PM


Your momentaneous mood is so powerfully expressed here.
It hurts like an open wound.
Love, Margherita

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
15 posted 2004-03-04 11:30 PM


Strong spirit in the quill...much like the author.  Hugs Bluesy.
TD

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2004-03-04 11:48 PM


I feel this one, my friend...the hurt of it and the stength!  
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
17 posted 2004-03-05 03:46 AM


I find strength here
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
18 posted 2004-03-05 09:33 AM


a dark mood for sure... hope it is going better today

M

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #31 » Cut Off

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary