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muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

0 posted 2004-03-03 10:50 PM

Swallow the blood
of the candlewax
dripping down from the edge
of dancing flames,
burning the air.
Too hot to breathe
when the sweat
flows a river
down the valleys
of cotton blouses
stained from wearing
chili pepper amulets
sticky with vanilla
and fingerprints.
Touching the spirit
bringing it down,
trapped in wooden beads
and voodoo dolls
and the shaking rhythm
of poppyseeds beating
in the hollow gourd.
To fill it with
echoes of motherhood.
Making fathers of gods
where man fails.
Growing apple blossoms
in barren goddesses
where the rain
forgot its way home.

~chant me the season
sing me the storm
dance down divinity
for a mother forlorn
for a child, unborn
give life to his form~

and take from me
nothing more
than a burnt offering
of my soul.

[This message has been edited by muted (03-04-2004 01:27 AM).]

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

1 posted 2004-03-03 11:18 PM

though I will confess to knowing absolutely nothing about your subject matter, I do love the rhythmic cadence that lends itself to my pre-conceptions...well written...I thoroughly enjoyed it

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2004-03-03 11:58 PM

enjoyed this motherhood chant
good spinning of words

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2004-03-04 01:17 AM

Talent just oozes out of your poetry, muted! An another one dripping with it here!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2004-03-04 01:19 AM

Loved the way you mixed witchcraft with reality.

Very cool voodoo, you~

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

5 posted 2004-03-04 05:40 AM

Fantastic imagery here ....the mysterious magic...and ritual rites... shine through...i love it...

Thank you....

Goldenrose.

''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity''

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

6 posted 2004-03-04 07:48 AM

Well done gal......

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

7 posted 2004-03-04 09:02 AM

vivid images -- well done the title pulled me in....I enjoyed this muted!

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

8 posted 2004-03-04 09:37 AM

and take from me
nothing more
than a burnt offering
of my soul.

I'm impressed. This is excellent!
Love, Margherita

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

9 posted 2004-03-04 04:56 PM

Powerful material, visually strong, I feel like I was watching this poem rather than reading it, with its plethora of images....~P

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