Open Poetry #31 |
Sacred Hypocrisy |
Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Bring to the world your life Covered in the lies Exposed for the Truth The damaged Child cries Wondering what went wrong Happiness is Holiness You're damning me to Hell Adultery and Crime Those things you don't tell You're safe from the pain You're Saved Bathed in Blood Blinded by the Light Spread the Word Sinning by Divine Right Your lies not heard Bounded together with your sacred hypocrisy By the day free from sin Saving souls for the Lord By night living in Darkness The sex and drugs on board Theis is you The True One Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. |
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© Copyright 2004 Bradly Stott - All Rights Reserved | |||
Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
This is a good poem except for a number of typos (hypocracy = hypocrisy). Enjoyed! Grover. |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Editted. Thank you for the kind words. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
lots of hard hitting emotion here - it is well done - Paul |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big angel hugs) This is a very powerfully moving poem, dearest friend, these demons still are ever so present in our society and we must all grow sober and free from them all to be complete! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Bradly, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Very powerful indeed, Ringo. I like the explosive tone--and yet the indignation doesn't quite hide a sense of betrayal. Smile. (Will be looking for ya later, to see if I can wheedle the source of your muse outta ya.) Yep. Very impactful, m'friend. |
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C? Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 190 |
me likes, me likes C? |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Yep... Exactly. I will shut up now... Very well done...very well said. |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
"You're damning me to hell" Very deep poem and I thoroughly enjoyed it. True emotions shone through in this one and thats what I liked about it. Nice read! ^*Kimberley*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I think Its wierd how something so hated like Hyprocracy, so many poeple can fall victom to. I liked this, but I think you need to set the mood more. I can't tell if there is anger, flustration, amusement, well... any ways it is still a very good and nice poem, but has potential to be a better poem. lots of love -Juju |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
hard dude,,,,deep,,,,,,I feel ya on this,,,, as for editing,,,,,,you missed one,,,,,(innocently whistles) Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yeah...powerful write |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
I know it has been far too long since I thanked everyone who replied to this. Apologies all around. Those of you who know me, know I meant no disrespect. Paul- Thanks for reading it. Noah- Another blessed response. You are always so kind. Thank you. Karen- You picked up on the betrayal, huh?? I was hoping to pass it of as a "Christian" thing lol. Thanks for the kind words. C?- Thank you. Thank You. Susan- Short, simple and to the point. Thank you. Kimberly- I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you. Juju- Thank you for the constructive criticism. It really helpe. Michelle- *slap* That was for being impertinant. lol Much love. ps- thank you again. You are always so kind. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur |
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