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Open Poetry #31

Hit the dirt!

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

0 posted 2004-02-23 10:39 AM

Hit the dirt!

not  having
endured an explosion of
this magnitude she was wise to
start the reconnaissance mission
promptly, recovering scattered bits
seemed of the utmost importance
after gathering the fragments
together she rolled herself
into the corner and
prayed  for
cohesion

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (02-23-2004 12:17 PM).]

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2004-02-23 10:57 AM

I really like the ending of this... I understand praying for cohesion. *S* Excellent work, my friend... the format adds a great visual! *S*

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

2 posted 2004-02-23 11:45 AM

well just like my arms around my knees most of the weekend, this one just formed itself
thank you lady

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2004-02-23 01:03 PM

I can understand the form well

nice write JB

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2004-02-23 01:14 PM

OhJelly~
You would just have to know all too well, that you word-painted this one complete~

Yes, I know that knee-hugging ... this is simply an intense ache waiting to be *hugged* ... and sooooo, I do~
*Huglets* AGAIN
~*Me

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

[email protected]

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

5 posted 2004-02-23 01:33 PM

Hi Jellybean,

This is a beauty! The external images add to the lived experience of an internal world oscillating between cohesion and smithereens.
You describe a very familiar place...~P

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