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Open Poetry #31
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mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

0 posted 2004-01-26 09:17 PM


found your mittens in the frozen creek
crystal branches and a scarlet cheek
scattered ballads
and an angel in your place

the idle snowdrifts took the dismal lead
while you're living life the world gains speed
and carried you though your faults would
lose the race

found your beloved by the fireside
a broken promise and a battle cry
shifted ashes
and a bruised and blackened eye

the angry fire whispered hatefully
we burn the things we love so carelessly
and one last cinder fell in the name of
heaven nigh

found you crying on her lonely stone
aging flowers and a chicken bone
wishing hard for anything
but now

the bleeding letters of her lifetime read
"many times before this i was dead"
and regret and loss overwhelmed your
sorry brow

joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless...

© Copyright 2004 Rachael - All Rights Reserved
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

1 posted 2004-01-26 09:33 PM


mytuesdaywishes, such a very powerful write…loved the last stanza…what a fantastic ending to such good poetry
Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
2 posted 2004-02-10 04:46 PM


I was going to back back pages to see any poems that had 0 or only 1 response to read them and see if maybe it was a really great poem that just fell through the cracks.  

That is definitely what I found here.  I had to put another response because this is a beautiful poem.  And I agree - a very powerful write.  I love the imagery here and the thoughts conveyed.

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
3 posted 2004-02-10 06:44 PM


Exemplary! Grover.
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-02-11 05:37 PM


WOW.  This had a really story in it and was wonderfully written.  WOW!  (I especially liked the rhythm of it -- I heard music with it.)
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2004-03-08 05:59 PM


I find myself looking out for your work...fantastic!

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
6 posted 2004-03-08 06:10 PM


Ahhh impressive tues ...this i s a Keeper



-Wolf

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2004-03-08 06:52 PM


YOU are so very good.

I'm a new fan.

Love your work, lady. Just love it.


Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
8 posted 2004-03-08 07:06 PM


Even better the second time around! Great work here... keep it up! Grover.
skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
9 posted 2004-03-08 07:42 PM


This is really powerful.

~sky

Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know....
~Good Charlotte

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
10 posted 2004-03-08 08:08 PM


Amazing piece! Very powerful, beautiful.
Thank you for sharing, this is going in my library.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
11 posted 2004-03-08 08:35 PM


very powerfully and well done!!! Paul
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